this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2024
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What's a good response to someone saying "just change your gender"? (discuss.tchncs.de)
submitted 3 weeks ago by mouserat@discuss.tchncs.de to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
12 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

In my country it has been made easier to change the gender in your passport. I think it's a good step forward. But since this has officially been decided, multiple times people used the sentence above for any gender related issue, with derogatory attitude. For example when talking about quota of women at work or pay gaps. When I just look at them, because I'm missing a good response, they add something like "now it's easy, everyone can change it just as they like". I don't know how to concisely respond to this. There are multiple things wrong - as if discrimination would disappear by "changing" gender and the obvious dissent about it being a progressive step that everyone can decide for themselves now what the gender entry in their ID is. What would be a good short response in a situation like this?

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[โ€“] Gieselbrecht 43 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

How about innocently asking "how would that help?"

In the case of quota, they are necessary because of women not being promoted to higher positions as frequently as men. This has nothing to do with your gender in your ID card.

In the case of pay gap, most of it is explained by jobs most often held by women being payed worse. This doesn't get better by changing your gender.

With just asking "how would that help?", you put the other person in a position to explain their argument, and maybe they reflect a little.

[โ€“] ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works 26 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

This.

One of the best ways to confront a bigot is by pretending to be completely naive of their intentions, and getting them to dig their own hole by repeatedly asking them to explain what they mean.

[โ€“] eatthecake@lemmy.world 22 points 3 weeks ago

They are trolls. They are not speaking in good faith. Is it true that people in your country can just change it as they like? The short response is fuck off.

[โ€“] Taleya@aussie.zone 17 points 3 weeks ago

The answer you should give is "what the fuck are you on about?"

[โ€“] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago

Gender inequality isn't solved via paperwork. If anything that would make pay equity even harder to achieve.

[โ€“] otp@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Not sure if it'd be the best response, but I'm pretty sure that Trans people (of either gender) face more discrimination than women do. So changing one's gender would lead to more discrimination in all cases.

[โ€“] jbrains@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 weeks ago

"You first." ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

[โ€“] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

In a work environment, best response is to ask things like "why?" "What do you mean?" Etc and let them either dig a hole that you can bring to HR; or come to the realization that their derogatory mindset actually feels really dirty when they spell it out, and drop it on their own.

[โ€“] blackbrook@mander.xyz 5 points 3 weeks ago

Assuming they mean this as a joke, there's not really much point in responding at all. Bad jokes are best just ignored.

[โ€“] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

How about change YOUR FACE

[โ€“] whydudothatdrcrane@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 weeks ago

In general I agree with other responders, in that it is best to let them explain their bigotry. Having said that, and for the record:

  • a stealth trans woman will face misogynist discrimination at work
  • a non-stealth trans woman will face transmisogynist discrimination at work
  • a stealth trans man might be able to take advantage of passing privilege and male privilege combined [^1]
  • a non-stealth trans man will face transphobic and misogynist discrimination at work

If any of the above people are non heteronormative they will face homophobic discrimination either way.

Let alone that these legal transition procedures are wildly imperfect, and it would be unreasonable to assume that a person can as easily transition in law as they imply. In fact it might take years and $$ just to get just the most important paperwork done[^2]. And then what? Do they think that legal name change is like a Permanent Polyjuice Filter that allows you perfectly pass and live as the other gender?? P r e p o s t e r o u s

Besides, why would anyone transition in paper if they are not transgender? This is the most basic comeback. Ask them "Why don't you switch genders then? Grass might be greener on the other side.[^3]" They will probably respond "But I am not trans". "Neither am I", continue, "I just want equality at work, trans rights included".

(Source: Old social studies coursework on transgender issues, but some info might be outdated.)

[^1]: This is not to mean that he might face other types of discrimination in different settings, like reproductive health. [^2]: And don't even ask about non-binary provisions, more often than not they are not any. [^3]:You might also be better looking as a lady than what you look now, lmao, no just kidding don't say that.