this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] mipadaitu@lemmy.world 162 points 4 days ago

Oh fuck... It's so stupid it's smart.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 65 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

As someone who worked in a gas station for 24 years..

sigh

I’d do it. I’d suck it up. I’d make some damn good friends along the way and then I’d never maintain those friendships and feel guilty for the rest of rest of my life. “Just call him, dipshit. He’s going through a divorce! Just go fishing! Pleaaassse! Ok, here goes. Tomorrow.”

Always tomorrow.

[–] whelk@lemm.ee 32 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This is one of the most fascinating comments I've ever encountered on Lemmy

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You’re fascinating. 😘

[–] whelk@lemm.ee 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

We should be best friends. 👊

[–] geogle@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago
[–] SpermHowitzer@sh.itjust.works 27 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 60 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I have no idea how I ended up here. Swear to god I was on the post about the trolley, saving people, and small talk. No shit. Never even seen this post.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 23 points 3 days ago

This happened to me once too. The Lemmy gods brought you here. You are now a part of the meme

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

As God as my witness I thought turkeys could fly. We've all been there.

[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Turkeys can fly. Unless this is a reference to something, then carry on.

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

WKRP Cincinnati, first annual turkey drop. A piece of legendary comedy history. Low key a jab at a failed real life attempt to release 2 million balloons in Cincinnati that resulted in two deaths.

[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

Ohhhhhhh yeah I remember now!

[–] TinyShonk@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

I saw that post right below this one.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

And now I’ve posted it in the correct location.

[–] WolfLink@sh.itjust.works 22 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

No this post was the correct location. Don’t second guess yourself. You were always meant to be here!

[–] pendingdeletion@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

I’ll call you tomorrow, tomorrow.

[–] dQw4w9WgXcQ@lemm.ee 34 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Not if you count Taylor Swift

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[–] Jimbabwe@lemmy.world 113 points 4 days ago (5 children)

I don’t trust the liberal science agenda so I did my own research. Using some back-of-the-napkin math and my telescope, I’m now blind from looking at the sun through a telescope. This is being transcribed by my trad wife. My results:

2 > 1

This one checks out, folks.

[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 34 points 4 days ago (3 children)

You must be a terrorist because that's MUSLIM MATH! Those are not Christian numbers and feel it necessary to report this comment to the FBI, the Federal Biblical Investigators.

[–] Archer@lemmy.world 33 points 4 days ago
[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

How's this instead: II > I

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 19 points 4 days ago (1 children)

What, you don't believe in the Nemesis hypothesis?

Because that would bring it up to... hang on, let me get my calculator...

Two stars in the solar system.

[–] Jimbabwe@lemmy.world 21 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Fascinating proposal, professor. Thankfully I can adjust my equations quite easily:

2 ≥ 2

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[–] Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world 53 points 4 days ago (3 children)

You got me. Had to whatever the thought equivalent of double take is.

[–] don@lemm.ee 17 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

If i had fallen for it, i would have had a quarter ponder :)

[–] Boggy@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

Had yourself a thinkythink

[–] fishbone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

The term you're looking for is doublethink.

On an unrelated note: 2+2=5

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 51 points 4 days ago

I love this because even though I read the words, I interpreted it to mean something else for a second. (atoms and galaxy) Be careful when you read things and don't assume you know something.

[–] mokazemi@discuss.tchncs.de 26 points 4 days ago

Mmm... Yeah!

[–] hate2bme@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Is the joke that there is only one star in our solar system? The sun?

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 21 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

yes, ... and only 2 hydrogen atoms in a molecule of water (H2O)

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[–] credo@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

That's not a solar system, it's a galaxy.

[–] SerotoninSwells@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago (8 children)
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