this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2024
1100 points (98.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27156 readers
3022 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] mipadaitu@lemmy.world 169 points 2 months ago

Oh fuck... It's so stupid it's smart.

[–] Jimbabwe@lemmy.world 117 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I don’t trust the liberal science agenda so I did my own research. Using some back-of-the-napkin math and my telescope, I’m now blind from looking at the sun through a telescope. This is being transcribed by my trad wife. My results:

2 > 1

This one checks out, folks.

[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 points 2 months ago (3 children)

You must be a terrorist because that's MUSLIM MATH! Those are not Christian numbers and feel it necessary to report this comment to the FBI, the Federal Biblical Investigators.

[–] Archer@lemmy.world 36 points 2 months ago
[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

How's this instead: II > I

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What, you don't believe in the Nemesis hypothesis?

Because that would bring it up to... hang on, let me get my calculator...

Two stars in the solar system.

[–] Jimbabwe@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Fascinating proposal, professor. Thankfully I can adjust my equations quite easily:

2 ≥ 2

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] alquicksilver@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

There is not a single thing about this comment chain that doesn't bring me joy.

[–] Dragonstaff@leminal.space 6 points 2 months ago

Thank you for your service.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 69 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

As someone who worked in a gas station for 24 years..

sigh

I’d do it. I’d suck it up. I’d make some damn good friends along the way and then I’d never maintain those friendships and feel guilty for the rest of rest of my life. “Just call him, dipshit. He’s going through a divorce! Just go fishing! Pleaaassse! Ok, here goes. Tomorrow.”

Always tomorrow.

[–] whelk@lemm.ee 36 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This is one of the most fascinating comments I've ever encountered on Lemmy

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You’re fascinating. 😘

[–] whelk@lemm.ee 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We should be best friends. 👊

[–] geogle@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago
[–] SpermHowitzer@sh.itjust.works 28 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 66 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I have no idea how I ended up here. Swear to god I was on the post about the trolley, saving people, and small talk. No shit. Never even seen this post.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago

This happened to me once too. The Lemmy gods brought you here. You are now a part of the meme

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As God as my witness I thought turkeys could fly. We've all been there.

[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Turkeys can fly. Unless this is a reference to something, then carry on.

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

WKRP Cincinnati, first annual turkey drop. A piece of legendary comedy history. Low key a jab at a failed real life attempt to release 2 million balloons in Cincinnati that resulted in two deaths.

[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Ohhhhhhh yeah I remember now!

[–] TinyShonk@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

I saw that post right below this one.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And now I’ve posted it in the correct location.

[–] WolfLink@sh.itjust.works 24 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

No this post was the correct location. Don’t second guess yourself. You were always meant to be here!

[–] pendingdeletion@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

I’ll call you tomorrow, tomorrow.

[–] Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world 55 points 2 months ago (3 children)

You got me. Had to whatever the thought equivalent of double take is.

[–] don@lemm.ee 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

If i had fallen for it, i would have had a quarter ponder :)

[–] Boggy@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Had yourself a thinkythink

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 52 points 2 months ago

I love this because even though I read the words, I interpreted it to mean something else for a second. (atoms and galaxy) Be careful when you read things and don't assume you know something.

[–] dQw4w9WgXcQ@lemm.ee 35 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Not if you count Taylor Swift

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] mokazemi@discuss.tchncs.de 26 points 2 months ago

Mmm... Yeah!

[–] hate2bme@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is the joke that there is only one star in our solar system? The sun?

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

yes, ... and only 2 hydrogen atoms in a molecule of water (H2O)

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 2 months ago

Second time i see this, still funny :)

[–] kamen@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

Made me think for a second.

[–] SerotoninSwells@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (8 children)
load more comments (8 replies)
[–] blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago
load more comments
view more: next ›