this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2024
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I was curious how much those blue barrels you see bodies buried in cost

If you’re feeling fancy and hate microplastics you can upgrade to steel barrels for only $50 more!

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[–] Fosheze@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you're just getting rid of a body you don't need a new one. You don't care about contamination in that case. You can get those barrels used for dirt cheap. If you know where a boat landing is then you may even be able to steal one from underneath a dock for free and without leaving any paper trail.

[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

i like the cut of your jib

[–] rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You're going to need a wood chipper to get a body into a closed top barrel

[–] Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's why you go with one of these bad boys

No wood chipper, no problems

You can fit so many people in one of these bad boys slaps lid

They're also hella easy to seal properly

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 month ago

That ice bath tub even has a tap. You can get a nice cup of whatever juices are inside whenever you like!

[–] tfw_no_toiletpaper@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Haaaank don't use steel, Haaaank

[–] match@pawb.social 3 points 1 month ago

who needs a coffin! this and a drum of honey and we can make some mellified man

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together... And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig sh*t, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig"

— Brick Top, Snatch 2000

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

Given typical inflatable-pool marketing, that ice bath is two feet wide.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 month ago

The blue barrel makes me think of slime in Terraria, When you beat King Slime, he drops a conversion machine that converts gel into slime blocks when then can be made into blue furniture, including chests which smack of modern recycling bins, so I use them to partition out common cruft that is picked up from normal travel and fighting.

There are even slime barrels, though those are normally used for brewing.