this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2024
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submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by robber@lemmy.ml to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
 

Most relevant section translated to english:

If he (Trump) wins the election on November 5, his billionaire supporter Musk will chair the new board. This is to implement a full financial and performance audit of the entire government and make recommendations for drastic reforms.

Source: Swiss state media article

top 22 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] random_character_a@lemmy.world 38 points 2 months ago (3 children)

That will happen right after Vin Diesel becomes US president after Trump chokes on a burger (not poisoned, sorry). Vin Diesel will be replaced by Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho after he flattens Diesel with a monster truck.

[–] jbk@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

omg vin the guy who invented diesel

[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And the system to uniquely identify vehicles. Seems like a real car guy.

[–] swab148@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago

Cars are his family

[–] roboto 4 points 2 months ago

Would be an honor to be led by a 5 times ultimate smackdown champion and porn superstar.

[–] Senseless 1 points 2 months ago

Had me in the first half.

[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 26 points 2 months ago

I sensed a great disturbance in the force, as though millions of programmers cried out in pain and were suddenly silenced.

Can't wait for him to start messing with timezones next.

[–] IndustryStandard@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The great savior will implement the metric system

[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 months ago

Yeah but he’ll change every base unit to x, so now we measure acceleration in x/x^2 and volume is measured in x^3 and the highway speed limit is 80x/(x/60).

[–] badbrainstorm@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

The Paypal mafia will level up. Such a gross thought

[–] Resol@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Blaster_M@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

"It'x really hard 2 talk lixe xix" - Strong Bad, but edgier

[–] Resol@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Ah yes, the Xeriouxly Forxe.

No, I tried only replacing the initials with an X, not all instances of the letter S like Strong Bad did.

[–] Vandals_handle@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

On the plus side, all movies will be rated X

[–] hoshikarakitaridia@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago

That the country will be renamed? yes. That Trump has said he'll nominate Musk? No, sadly.

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 1 points 2 months ago

No, this is Patrick.

[–] deuleb_biezelbob@programming.dev 3 points 2 months ago

hahaha Amsterdam will gain New York back

[–] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] finestnothing@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Well, look where we are

[–] h3mlocke@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago

I believe you just solved the riddle of the sphinx.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

So the whole "draw Vin Diesel from memory" post was a massive psyop laying the groundwork.