this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
417 points (96.4% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26915 readers
3674 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] blackjam_alex@lemmy.world 80 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago

I'm straight, but 12kg of free, fresh Wisconsin cheese might open me to negotiations.

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 months ago

Dating in Wisconsin

[–] MontyBGud@lemmy.world 42 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You cant just post something wild and not provide a source, I want to read this book.

[–] GrabtharsHammer@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Looks like "The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft" by Kathryn Paulsen.

[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

I couldn't verify it but that's the name I found too.

Edit: goddamn a used mass market paperback copy is $50 on eBay. Nevermind I guess I won't be getting burned at the stake.

[–] Omgboom@lemmy.zip 28 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] genfood 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] TriflingToad@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

that got a lot worse in the 2nd sentence

[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

Good old archive.org to the rescue

Still though, I've never been a big fan of ebooks. As terminally online as I am, I've never been able to get into it.

Just a different vibe I guess

[–] Sadrockman@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago

Not with that attitude.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

What!? Witchcraft? Magic? I don't believe in that bullshit, but you most definitely can win a woman's heart with cheese. That's just a scientific fact.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's true. I once gave a woman cheese, and we were fucking within 10 minutes.

We also planned to hookup that night already, but it had to be the cheese.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Was it some sort of blind hookup Tinder-like, and the "password" was a real, actual piece of cheese?
Like with spy craft, "I'll be at the plaza at 10pm, sitting on the bench in front of the fountain. I will be wearing a Gary Coleman "OBEY" t-shirt and carrying a dark green backpack. You will ask me for a piece of cheese".

[–] frezik@midwest.social 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Nothing like that. I just offered to get some cheese for a pre-hookup snack.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wanna grab some cheese before we bone?

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

"Before we bone, I must tell you... I ate radishes earlier. Perhaps you should, too."
And that's how you get on equal footing before jumping into the sack.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 4 points 2 months ago

That's rad... ish

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And here I thought I had to share her interests and perform thoughtful acts. Cheat code unlocked.

[–] zephr_c@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago

I mean, if you have a shared interest in cheese this probably counts as a thoughtful act.

[–] madkins@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago
[–] TommySoda@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

I think this can work with men too. I know this because I am a man and love cheese. I love cheese so much that I go through the pain of being lactose intolerant just to eat me some of that cheese.

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I hope some insane person has tried all these things.

[–] Arbiter@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago

That would attract far too many women.

[–] Even_Adder@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That whole page is full of wild shit.

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So you've tried these techniques and they didn't work? Or have you not tried them at all?

[–] pkmkdz@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Bro tried them all but has skill issue

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

β€œBaby, stop running. I have muenster!”

[–] VonCesaw@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

If she's running she doesn't know what muenster is If she does know what it is and still runs, shes possibly insane and you are both better off

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I always just pick up one of those double-packs of condoms and cheese on date night. You know, the no-Babybel Bundle.

[–] Tenthrow@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I know several women this would work on.

[–] supercriticalcheese@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] JoeKis@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Fellas, if you're girl is skinny, tall, red , works at a charity to make someone smile 😬, is. Obsessed with πŸ…±οΈheese, that's not your grill, that's Elan from family guy! 😀

[–] Voyajer@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Thank God I kept all the left shoes as a token!

(This is a joke)

[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Book written by Charlie Kelly

[–] Decoy321@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

But it's not written in ~~gaelic~~ gibberish?!

[–] Banichan@dormi.zone 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Redfox8@mander.xyz 2 points 2 months ago

I need the text highlighted please, I've no idea what anyone is talking about...

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Burn what after you have perspired heavily in and introduce it to the food or drink of a man?!?

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 2 months ago

Keep her fascinated even longer with some Himalayan chewy cheese!

[–] Squeezer@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

I gave my partner cheese and we've been together for almost ten years, this is probably true.

[–] Schlemmy@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 months ago

Search for Pink and Brie.