this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2024
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Lord of the memes

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Being emotionally available is underrated (lemmy.world)
submitted 7 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/lotrmemes@midwest.social
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[–] Minotaur@lemm.ee 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

At risk of being a dork I’ll also compare this to Star Trek (largely because OP is a clear fan). Both series are really timeless and impactful imo because they portray people as almost supremely emotionally intelligent. Everyone is very professional when they need to be - capable of great emotional restraint, but also deeply empathetic and caring and ‘tender’ when the time is right.

I mean Gimli is supposed to be the “emotional hothead” of the Fellowship and he’s literally more chill and emotionally controlled than most of the people you run into working retail

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago (4 children)

That's why Star Trek is sometimes referred to as "competency porn."

[–] DahGangalang@infosec.pub 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

As someone who spent time in the military, I know exactly what you mean.

I wish the people I worked with were 25% as competent, rational, and level headed as the crew of the Enterprise.

Edit: Spelling

[–] Minotaur@lemm.ee 1 points 7 months ago

It’s funny, when I was a fresh college grad I actually considered joining the millitary because I really did have a desire for that competent, almost bureaucratic professionalism and mature outlook.

Then I kind of got my heads out of the clouds and realized diction and reality are pretty separate

[–] Dr_Fetus_Jackson@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

It's almost embarrassing to admit, but TNG was a factor for me in finding emotional maturity.

I was a happy, naive child that was lucky to get to 8 before everything sorta fell apart. Parents divorced, sexual abuse from within the extended family by different people, having to toughen up at school due to the emotional issues starting to crop up, abandoned by a parent because of their addiction, and even the social pressure during the satanic panic (this was obviously the 80's).

Somehow, I did manage to keep some of the happy-go-lucky and naivete, but otherwise I had a rough time reigning in my temper and sometimes would break into tears from being overwhelmed (alone, obviously, because I had to be manly).

When I got into watching TNG, I really admired Picard as a character template, and worked on some of my own self perceived character flaws, and why I acted the way I did. Essentially, looking for the causes and not the symptoms. It was the start of a growth that continues still. His morality and introspection as an archetype gave me hope.

A therapist surely would've been a better way to go about it, but those weren't really much of an option for us back then.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I wouldn't be embarrassed about that at all. TNG also showed me the world I wanted to build for the future.

[–] Dr_Fetus_Jackson@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Thank you!

I'm a pretty pragmatic at heart, so I feel silly sometimes when realizing that I used fictional characters for inspiration to build myself up. I don't aspire to be the hero of anything, but do want to be someone that is worthy of respect.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

Reality reflects art reflects reality. Star Trek has inspired countless people to live up to their potential and even bring to life the fantastic devices we see in those shows.

[–] Minotaur@lemm.ee 0 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Very apt. Oddly enough I’ve only heard the phrase applied to The X-Files

[–] DrinkMonkey@lemmy.ca 1 points 7 months ago

See also “The West Wing”, which is also entirely more fantastical than 24th century utopian space exploration, based on (gestures broadly)

[–] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Suddenly vanishes the moment you're promoted to Admiral, apparently

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

turn it around, only shitty people tend to be promoted to such positions, it's like the saying that the best president is one who doesn't want the position.

[–] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 1 points 7 months ago

I was just making a joke about how every admiral in the franchise turns out to be the bad guy in some way, due to malice, incompetence, or because they were replaced by aliens wearing their skins.

[–] wahming@monyet.cc 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Put Gimli in retail and watch him pull out his battleaxe.

[–] Apollonius_Cone@lemmy.world 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Only if he works at Walmart.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 months ago

Oh Walmart isn't the bottom of the barrel. A rite aid in the bad part of town is worse, or fuck being one of the only two people controlling a dollar store seems like some kind of weird hell.

[–] rustydomino@lemmy.world 0 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

No shaming at all! But I think it’s important to recognize that not all cultures express affection the same way.

One very poignant scene I remember well was when a Disney exec met the famous Japanese director Hiyao Miyazaki for the first time. The American exec rushed forward to hug them and I remember thinking that Miyazaki may have felt pretty uncomfortable with that. As an Asian American that spends a lot of time in both cultures I find that Americans tend to (for lack of a better word) impose their cultural norms on others - either through well meaning ignorance or cultural chauvinism I don’t know.

Edit - replying to Boozilla. Not sure if it worked.

[–] crispy_kilt@feddit.de 0 points 7 months ago

well meaning ignorance or cultural chauvinism

A bit of both, I think.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I mean, the problem here is that if you want emotionally available men you have to treat men better.

Good luck getting people to do that.

Look up Troy Hawke on Instagram and use his act as a guide.

[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world -1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Who are you talking to?

[–] The_Lopen@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You must be new here. This is a comment section. Others call it a thread. You use it to comment on things.

[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world -1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

It's cool. I've been here a while. Enjoy the incels.

The answer is "incels". You're talking to incels.

Enjoy the gratification online, but it's gross.

[–] The_Lopen@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Different person. Next lesson we'll learn about usernames.

[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world -1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

I'm talking to you numb nuts. Look ONE day back in my comments. My point was they were talking, and you are talking/ virtue signaling to incels. Continue to do so. It's a good red flag.

[–] The_Lopen@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 months ago

Yeah, and I'm talking to you. All I said was that I wasn't the same person you asked your original question to. "Who are you talking to?" Was not asked to me. I must not have taught you very well.

In comment sections and threads, anybody can jump into conversations. You can see that when I jumped in after you asked a question.