this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2024
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And Finally...

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A man has appeared in court accused of stealing a packet of crisps worth £1.25.

Patrick McDonagh (37) of Erne Park, Kesh, appeared at Enniskillen Magistrate's Court on Thursday.

He is facing a single charge of theft, whereby he is accused of stealing crisps to the value of £1.25 from Lakeside Service Station on April 30 of this year.

Translation: "crisps" are what Americans call "chips".

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[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

State of journalism today. WHAT FUCKING FLAVOUR WERE THE CRISPS?

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Well we can do some detective work. It was £1.25 so not a standard pack of Walkers but also not a big bag of kettle chips.

Now the price may be a clue, as that's the price on a 72g packet of Monster Munch and we all know what the best flavour is, so the answer is:

big reveal


[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 1 points 2 weeks ago

Good work, Holmes. And surely no jury in the land would convict for such an understandable crime!

[–] Bougie_Birdie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago

This sure seems like a valuable use of the courts' time

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I dunno, he looks a bit like a chippie thief.

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

We'll have to wait to see if he's charged but I wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't his first savoury heist. Like a human seagull.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 3 points 2 weeks ago

the type of guy who asks for a chip and grabs a fist full.