You unlock legendary at 4 toots.
Lemmy Shitpost
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
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Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
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All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
Only 0.04% of employees have this
Holy shit, I'm putting this one on my ~~Steam~~ LinkedIn showcase!
The story doesn't make sense. He only ever does two, three would be ridiculous.
I'm gonna start a rumor that there's a different boss in a different division that does four.
RDJ really has some big boots to fill.
RDJ really has some big ~~boots~~ toots to fill.
Ftfy
While at your desk make direct and sustained eye contact in silence. Once you know you have him gently say "poop poop" then violently shit yourself. Everything is about shitting, except shitting. Shitting is about power.
this whole thread, I'm crying
I'm not sure you'd win. This is a man with decades of Pavlovian training, who can literally fart on command given the right keyword. It's a pretty wild gamble to assume that "poop poop" is not in his repertoire.
Wasn't someone saying "toot toot" and farting a part of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide? Lol
Memory unlocked
Holy URLs Batman!
When you're so passive-aggressive that you encode your hate in a PERL script.
Confirmed, OOPs boss is Timmy Toot Toot as an adult lmfao
It's impacting my morale and performance
I can't think of a funnier sentence if I tried
I had a female employee come to me to complain years ago. She had had a disagreement with an older male employee (thankfully not mine) some weeks prior, and since then, every time he walked by her cube, he'd pause at her doorway, fart, and then keep walking without saying anything.
She at least was aware of how absolutely ridiculous it was, but legitimately didn't think it was something she should have to deal with. One of the stranger management issues.
Pretty textbook workplace harassment but I'm not sure how you'd prove it. Tape him with a clearly displayed fart face? Be sure to label one of stills with a red circle and a line saying "fart face"
She wasn't interested in suing, she just wanted him to stop farting in her doorway. I didn't know the guy, so I started by talking to his manager, who talked to the guy. Sounds like he initially tried to deny it, but in a way that made it clear he was doing it on purpose. His boss was pretty clear that it wouldn't be tolerated and it never happened again.
Some people are so weird and petty.
I don't know which one was right or wrong, but my god... that's legendary level, hilarious passive aggression.
We dont talk about the mythical fourth toot.
Japan is still recovering from the last two
There's blood in that one.
Record the farts. Sample the audio. Create music.
The copyright issues could be interesting.
I literally laughed so hard I cried.
I laughed so hard I legit farted.
I didn't laugh, but I shat myself to compensate.
Dude, if my boss did this, I would never recover. I think I would laugh until I asphyxiated myself.
toot. toot. toot. TOOOOOT
and that's how the universe got created kids
I learned to dab while sneezing back when the meme wasn't dead yet. I got so used to it, that I do that to this day. At least my palms are clean
I learned to sneeze like that long before dabbing was a thing and it wasn't until someone commented that I just dabbed on them that it connected those dots.
Regardless, I still sneeze in my elbow.
"he only ever does two, don't be ridiculous"
This is the most British response to a situation like this you could possibly get.
I love how the last full paragraph shifts the narrative from tooting in general is strange to normalizing 2 toots, but a 3rd one???
I had a manager once who had 3 small kids and he rarely caught himself when he excused himself from a meeting to “go potty”.
For real man, kids make you... forget how to behave in public. I have to relearn that I cannot fart out loud in public after three years at home. I'm not even sure I can poop without someone next to me anymore. Not sure how I'm gonna find a job.
I worked for a prof who prides himself on being an absolutely disgusting human being. Everyone has stories about talking with him in his office and then lifting his ass on one side to let rip. To make things worse, he had a fridge in his lab that he filled with booze and the stinkiest cheeses he could find, so his breath and farts were so bad they could make paint peel.
There's crazy stories about him traveling to an international conference and puking on the guy sitting beside him and shitting his pants on the same flight.
Then on a university sponsored trip (with other biology profs/researchers) to recruit new students and research collaboration, he drank some brown bubbling "wine" that he vought from a street vendor, that everyone else refused to drink, he shat his hotel bed 3 nights in a row and every time the hotel tried to charge him for it he claimed it was just chocolate that he had been eating in bed. They then proceeded to a remote research station up on a mtn and when they arrived he rushed to the bathroom and broke the toilet immediately. They had to spend close to a week there, with no functioning toilet.
Hope your boss never reaches those levels of depravity, lol.
Edit: spelling.
Fight fire with fire.
Toot-o-meter.