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Archaeologists Find 3,000-Year-Old Sword So Well Preserved It 'Almost Still Shines' (June 2023)
(www.smithsonianmag.com)
STOP PULLING MYSTERIOUSLY WELL PRESERVED WEAPONS OUT OF TOMBS
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HAVEN'T THESE PEOPLE EVER READ A BOOK FOR FUCKS SAKES
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STOP FUCKING AROUND. STILL WANT TO FIND OUT, FOR A LAUGH? THERE'S ALREADY A WAY TO DO THAT, IT'S CALLED WAKING UP IN THE 20s.
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THOUSANDS OF CURSED SWORDS REMOVED FROM GRAVES TO DATE AND NOT ONE USE FOUND FOR THE HORRORS THEY UNLEASHED
"Yes, hello, there's surely a reasonable, non-magic explanation for how this sword is as spotless as the day everyone buried it under a giant boulder with its wielder in an unmarked hole. It's completely fine for swords to whisper about things forgotten and not yet known." -STATEMENTS DREAMED UP BY THE UTTERLY DERANGED