Programmer Humor

Just wait until QA gets a hold of it

Another crap meme made with AI, yay, I love AI slop

Surprised there's no one in the comments going bat shit crazy that this was made by AI. Are we not doing that anymore?

Customer requirements are basically always “I want what my Excel sheet used to do”.

"Can we jazz it up a bit?"

This is a real request from a real manager. They have played us for absolute fools.

I’ve been a professional software developer for over two decades. There is zero chance my job will get taken by an AI any time soon. Anyone who thinks my job is to write code doesn’t understand my job. That’s like saying a bus driver’s job is to turn a steering wheel.

My job is to turn vague ideas and nondescript feelings into APIs and (sometimes) UIs, then turn those into specs, then split those into tasks, then sometimes I’ll write the code for them and sometimes someone else does. About 90% of my time is turning ideas into plans, and about 10% of my time is turning those plans into code.

When I was young and was a junior engineer, my job was more to receive the specs from the senior engineers and turn that into code, but even then, I was still designing my own stuff. Maybe more like 40/60 time instead of 90/10.

Now that I’m a grizzled old man forged in the fires of task management software, I’m doing almost all of the design work myself. I manage a project that has about 250,000 lines of code. An AI isn’t going to be able to build new features into that, let alone decide which features to build in the first place.

You know what we, in the industry, call a detailed specification fo requirements detailed enough to produce software? Code.

AI Project Manager: Create a button on a webpage that, when clicked, displays an alert saying "Hello World!"
AI Programmer: "What a sensible requirement! Here you go."
AI Billing Department: "Project completed, that'll be 10 million dollars."
Client AI Payments Department: "Sounds right, paid!"

The client wants to drag and drop their own personalized excel file with no guaranteed formatting or column order or data contract in order to import their data into our system <3

presses button; nothing happens

"Well see here! I wanted that button to do something!"

"Oh but it did! It wasted your time as well as mine!"

Button that does something? That’s too advanced for me, I’ll use a library

No, the customer wants a button that does a very specific thing.
He can't tell you what that is, though. You're the expert!
Also, can you put in more ads? And make it so the users can't close the tab until they bought something.

This is when the AI, in a microsecond, decided to destroy the human race.