Why does it have to be me? I try to be kind to others, I try to be there for them and friendly, and because of my autism, I get nothing but cruelty for it.

They’re very nice, kind, and accepting and believe in rights for everyone, but that’s only if the person isn’t autistic. They think you should be free to express your opinion and be like a normal person but only if you’re not autistic. You’re not even worthy of rights or kindness if you are. You’re like a small child or an animal. They treat you much, much, differently. They say they’ve always wanted to hurt you but all you are to them is autistic and they can’t hurt an autistic person without being “shunned”, so to speak.

My friend is autistic. A guy, much less awkward than I am, doesn’t have social anxiety. He’s treated with so much kindness even by those people.

Why does he get treated well and I don’t?? Is it because of my social anxiety?? Is it because I’m a woman with autism?

It seems even the “kindest” of people give me crap because of a trait that does not even define me as a person.

It says much more about them than it does me that they choose to treat me this way because of it.

I woke up very early, shaking because of what I talked about yesterday.