I'm beginning to think The Onion is in some type of Signal chat...
this post was submitted on 01 May 2025
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Once again I believe he would say something idiotic like that and it's only the comments that make me check the source. This fucking onion is tasty though...
Was mad immediately, then checked the community and was relieved, and then was mad again after realizing that could be a possibility he would say that for real.
I've been saying that The Onion started out making absurdist articles. They still make absurdist articles. Not their fault the real world ALSO became a matching level of absurdity, thus making The Onion articles plausible.
Didn't forget they forecasted Bush Jrs term ahead of time.
We're so far gone that saying "satire is dead" is kinda dead in itself
Same when I first saw it myself.
Legit though this was real. He would 100% say something this ridiculous.
He did. The deal we signed with Ukraine on Wednesday had absolutely no security guarantees in it.
The billionaires want the minerals though, if Russia has them, they can’t have what they want
This is more about Trump levering China over rare earth minerals. Yeah, a lot of other minerals were part of the deal, too, and gas and oil and such, but this is highly motivated by Trump, trying to find another supply of rare earth minerals in China, which is now heavily sanctioned.
Additionally, things have gotten a bit spicy between Trump and Putin lately, and this is Trump getting a symbolic win that makes Putin look bad.
Of course, it’s all a bunch of pretentious, narcissistic, childish nonsense, so who knows what the fuck is really going on?
Ikr? Opened the link before I realized. Was about to post ‘idiot: the cases fire must not include ceasing of fire!’
The onion USED TO BE fictional for fun and profit, and now they're a real news organization, unlike F*X. What is even happening? j/k
This is the hardest I've ever eaten the onion. Bravo
A ceasefire where only one side ceases fire. It's a staple to America's best friend the israelis
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if this becomes reality.
Trump is really giving Russia the Israel treatment huh