Oh boy, what do I win for a bingo?
this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2025
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Mental Health
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Crippling anxiety and a five figure therapy tab, in my experience.
I have this cool life hack for avoiding high therapy costs; not being able to afford therapy.
Sorry man. :( I'd be long dead if I was in that situation.
Thanks. It is what it is and I've got things to cling to for better or worse.
Spin the wheel to find out!
I was diagnosed with PTSD but my doctor never went into detail about what it means or offered any support beyond antidepressants. I experience every single issue laid out on this board, and it's helpful to see that it's "normal" for folks like me.
Whats "tightness" ?
Tight/tense muscles. A result of “armoring.”
Thanks!
I experience every single one of these on a routine basis. Discovering and subsequently reading about CPTSD was utterly revelatory for me.
Treating it is another story...
Any must-read reading recommendations? Thanks in advance.
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving Book by Pete Walker
This book is a great place to start. I'm struggling to finish it because it's so relevant that reading about it is quite an intense experience. I'm also currently reading Buddha's Brain by Rick Hanson. It's a neuroscience book which goes through all the biological processes that our brains go through when we experience symptoms. It's oddly calming to read about the actual physiology behind my experiences. It also gives meditation tips and breathing techniques that help with flashbacks.
Another book that's been recommended to me but I haven't stated yet is The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk.
I find that reading about this stuff creates quite a lot of anxiety so I'm pacing myself. But I feel like the anxiety means I'm going in the right direction.
I thought the body keeps score was a great read, though I have heard some very mixed views on it and the author got fired from his position for alleged mistreatment of staff. Just putting it out there as I have seen some really negative reviews for it. Like I said though, I thought it was a good read personally.
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving Book by Pete Walker
Pretty sure I've been told this exact one before. Holy weird. Thank you very much. Going to add your recs to an actual list instead of letting myself forget again.
I find that reading about this stuff creates quite a lot of anxiety so I’m pacing myself. But I feel like the anxiety means I’m going in the right direction.
Exactly. Confronting things head on has been something I've only been able to do more effectively since entering my DGAF years. The current state of affairs has me reading up on freaking Hitler. I am now way more than open to working on myself instead.
I'm pushing 60. Only recently have started to hear about this. I even went to therapy a lot. Pretty sure people mentioned it but it's just another piece in the puzzle. This helps. I need to educate myself a lot more on it. Thanks for posting.
Avoidant, checking in! Everything is awful!
Everything is awful is like the parody cover of Everything is awesome?
BTW sometimes I say to my self in a sing-songy voice 'Everything disgusts me', perhaps we're on to something...
I usually tell myself that nothing happened, at least I have no recollection of anything 'bad' really happening to me at an early age to justify my issues. And I don't really think I have 'repressed memories', if that is even a thing. But then, so many of these symptoms are so fitting that I don't know what to make of it.
And I don’t really think I have ‘repressed memories’
Funny, I said this exact same thing. Got pissed at the therapist, never went back to him.
Then it all came back.
Things don't stay buried.
I've tried really hard to 'remember', there's some stuff, but none seems bad enough. And the only thing that I could label as messed up happened when I was like 9 and an isolated case so it seems like an outlier.
My only guess is that whatever happened, assuming it did, was so early that my memories are both fuzzy and pre-verbal so I literally couldn't put words into them and are more like vague feelings.
Can't force the memory to resurface. It comes when you're ready for it, not before (i.e. when you're not running from it anymore). Took a lot of effort, therapy, and breakthroughs... Then, when I least expected it, several memory triggers hitting all at once and BAM. All came back like lightning. Every detail, like it happened yesterday.