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parents, were any of you not understanding/unaccepting of a certain group (ex: lgbt, neurodivergent) but became more accepting once you found out your kid was part of it? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 6 days ago by Pa55i0n@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

8 comments fedilink hide all child comments

husband and i are both autistic, so we were always very accepting of others. we’re also both bisexual, my husband being almost exclusively gay except for when it comes to me.

when we found out our 15-year-old leo was gay, we were very happy for him and we told him that he was still our leo we loved.

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[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

No, my kids are certainly diverse in sexual preference and one is transgender, but I didn't have any sort of unacceptance. I grew up around drag queens and "theater people".

Maybe in the other direction, honestly - I didn't see the trans one until they literally came out by telling me, my conception of womanhood is so broad that my kid looking like a 40 year old butch lesbian did not ping any trans radar so I was surprised when they said they wanted to be a man. Not mad or anything but it took awhile to process.

Nobody else has had to "come out" or worry about the race or sex of who they are with, they can bring home whoever they are going out with and we don't blink, it's fine.

[–] ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 6 days ago

Not quite. I grew up with a lot of racism that took time to undo and is still ongoing.

But that didn't impact my kiddo directly as they're not targetted by racism.

However, I found out that I'm adhd due to my kid being diagnosed, and I was out as queer before them. So we have intersections in common that we've both been working through at the same time.

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 9 points 6 days ago

I made a promise to myself that no matter what, I would love my children. It's not my life, it is their life to live and find happiness and fullfillement. And if my children are happy, I am happy. Nothing more, nothing less.

[–] GuyFawkes@midwest.social 7 points 6 days ago

No. As far as I know my kids aren’t apart of any of those groups, yet I already accept them completely anyways.

[–] vvilld@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I wouldn't say "unaccepting", but I really just did not like kids at all. I didn't enjoy playing with them, or even being around them because I felt I had to moderate myself due to their presence.

Then I had kids and now I really enjoy being around kids, playing with them, and talking to them, even ones that aren't my own.

[–] flubba86@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Same. All my life I didn't like being around kids, being in places with lots of children, being with nieces, nephews etc. I found them loud and unpredictable, like belligerent little drunks with attention seeking problems.

But then I got married, and we had kids, and I suddenly don't mind anymore. Probably an evolutionary adaptation. But there are still certain kids I can't tollerate, but that's more likely the parents fault, not the kids fault.

[–] DeathsEmbrace@lemm.ee 1 points 5 days ago

No your brain has a parenting mode. I think it's also been proven scientifically but I cabt remember the names of any articles it was related to father's or males and parenthood in relation to personal exposure to children.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

I never had a problem with any group, I am generally passively in support of people I don't have much connection to. However before I had my child I started becoming more actively supportive simply because he COULD be. But even groups that my son can't possibly be (minority for example) I've been supporting them more because the compassion in me is higher than it was. Like, I always cared, but I wasn't as driven to care, if that makes sense?