this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2025
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The Onion

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[–] RedWeasel@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

No, that wouldn't be how it would happen, he'd be hit by Israel's as he'd want to visit home first.

[–] coyootje@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

And they would then say that he was a terrorist in hiding and that they had every right to shoot him down.

[–] RedWeasel@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

Isn't that why they executed him the first time?

[–] RealFknNito@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Nothing would make me laugh harder than Jesus Christ being Iron Domed

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

False. He isn't coming back. Certainly most have heard the reason:

Aliens visit Earth, meet with various leaders of the world. They meet with the Pope, who of course tries to tell them of Christianity.

Pope: “You know of Jesus already?” Alien: “Of course we do. He visits regularly.”

Pope: “He’s only been here once. We are still awaiting His Second Coming!”

Alien: “Wow! When He came to us, we had a big party and gave Him our chocolate to try. He loved it and keeps coming back. What did you lot do to Him?”

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

I too read that chapter of the Martian Chronicles. Love that book

Legit lol’d. Too real.

[–] tazeycrazy@feddit.uk 4 points 1 week ago

Is anyone thinking of the markets. If the rapture is here I don't what my 401k messed up again this week.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

Mushroom cloud of glory.