"Immortality comes at a terrible price. You think you know what dick chafing feels like. I haven't had skin on my shaft for the last two centuries."
this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
262 points (97.1% liked)
Funny
9315 readers
2507 users here now
General rules:
- Be kind.
- All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
- Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
- No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
- Don't post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.
Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
That's a shock. And although changing my behavior won't be easy, I am DETERMINED to avoid anything that might make me live longer.
Just 3263? Pfft amateur, those are ROOKIE numbers
Fuck. I'm only at three a day....
this is beetle. he's as bad as can and he knows he's the best.
he's big, and he's strong, and he knows he's badder, and he knows what he gets. he knows what he knows, and he knows what he has, and he knows what he gets, he gets better. he's a tough guy, and he knows, he knows the best, I guess.
Just hanging round....
Twice a day and you start aging backwards.
Just for clarification: does it mean masturbating more than once a week increases life expectancy or masturbating less than three times increases life expectancy? The way it is written now could easily be misinterpreted, I’m unsure I’m doing the right thing.
Do it, just to be safe :p
10 percent per throw, calculating.
*sighs* If I must...