Today I Learned

This is what is meant when people talk about the patriarchy and toxic masculinity hurting everyone. It’s not “all men are bad!” But rather the idea that men aren’t allowed by society to have feelings other than anger, or are unable to be raped, or need to just “man up” when they are suffering-It’s all bullshit, and so harmful to men and boys. I’m so sorry for what you went through, and I hope you were able to find peace.

Yeah, there is for example this in Hamilton. Men's shelter Hamilton There are a few in Toronto and others in bigger cities.

People can find the closest to them for example on this site: Canadian centre for men and families

I believe there is only one in the whole country

This is just life in the slave racket. Abuse victims are denigrated, subjugated, and treated as the real threat to their community and not the abuser. They are treated like that because the society NEEDS most of its people to be abused and to tolerate it so they can be exploited throughout their lives without challenging their exploiters, or even worse, tearing down the system that benefits the oppressors.

Abuse victims who actively rebel or who try to help other victims jeopardize the system's access to slaves, you see. So they have their spirits driven completely into the ground to stop others rising up against them.

Why do you think things like rape or domestic abuse are seldom punished? Or even murder to an extent? Especially since the government has had access to mass surveillance for over a decade and thus has the power to end such crimes completely?

The powers that be WANT this and NEED it for their system to survive.

That is the slave racket.

glass half full with a hole in it

So sorry to hear that.

I read:

1 - men absolutely get abused

2 - we don’t need to entirely eliminate any of the existing narrative that women have it rough [but let’s add abuse of men to the picture]

No notes besides sending some love back, brother.

I assumed you said that (about how men are far more likely to be abusers) to try to mitigate any reactions that take your very reasonable comment out of context. Any time someone points out that abuse or injustice can happen from the non-typical side of a binary situation, someone inevitably jumps in with a "well achually..." response. Sometimes it's said with the best of intentions. Sometimes it's just trolling our pushing a personal bias.

I disagree with others who say you are perpetuating something negative by saying that. That's clearly not what you are doing. You are just trying to provide a preemptive response to an inevitable counterpoint. Your overall point was well-made and reinforces the tragic but insightful story behind this post.

I hope you and your dad have found peace and happiness away from your abusive mom.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say with this comment

That despite being actual victim of abuse, and further witnessing your father be a victim of abuse, You still try to push the narrative that women are the only real victims and the only ones deserving of support.

and I dont say this to be mean, or snarky, or cruel to you. You've just got to realize how internalized you've got this shit.

I am a victim of abuse. We had a kid too. The court handed my daughter to my abuser when she made false claims and I was arrested. All charges were dropped but the custody battle was delayed and made wildly more complex than it needed to be by the mother. Two months ago I was finally awarded sole custody. It has been so hard. To say male abuse victims have an uphill battle is an understatement.

This is a classic case of the Patriarchy / Toxic Masculinity hurting men too.

For the government officials to fund a Men's shelter would mean admitting that men can have moments of weakness, which the men in power do not like.

I think there are a lot of people who practice "White Feminism" which is mainly white women wanting to keep the existing power structures, but just replace the men with women and do nothing to actually address the cause of systemic inequality which hurt many marginalized women. Like all movements, the actual ideology and the movement in praxis are quite different and people are more motivated by a perceived vengeance and indignation than actually trying to get people onboard and change perspectives. This is why you get TERFs and the like.

No one does.

They tell you to open up and talk about your emotions, to be vulnerable and they leave you cause you're weak, and spread rumors about your sexuality (because straight men arent supposed to have feelings) when you do.

You ask for help, and you get ridiculed and called weak and told endless stories about how hard real victims/women have it.

Anything you do except suffer in silence is unacceptable.

And just by the gods make sure you don't make your silent suffering to noticeable to impact others, because god damn then the ridicule and the "well ackshually"-ing about other peoples suffering will really start.

There are shelters for men. You can find them for example here (this is for Canada): Men and Families Canada

1-866-887-0015 for male sexual abuse survivors toll-free 24/7

Menand Canada for further resources

Heads-up Guys Canada especially for mental health issues

This is a list based in Ontario with additional helplines and resources in Canada also for women, indigenous people, LGBTQ+ and other minorities.

It depends on the feminist, but feminism itself is actually pretty egalitarian

Feminism has often spoken out against the draft, recently and historically. And the majority of feminist scholars and groups are anti-war and anti-military in general. Stop trying to push this on feminism. Being anti-feminist isn't the way to tackle men's issues.

Absolutely, since women generally are the weaker of the two they don't use violence/physical force a lot of the time, their weapon of choice is emotional abuse.

There are shelters for men. You can find them for example here (this is for Canada): Men and Families Canada

1-866-887-0015 for male sexual abuse survivors toll-free 24/7

Menand Canada for further resources

Heads-up Guys Canada especially for mental health issues

This is a list based in Ontario with additional helplines and resources in Canada also for women, indigenous people, LGBTQ+ and other minorities.