this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2024
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Dating/Hangout Anxieties? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by douglasg14b@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world
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Anyone else get anxiety when waiting for communication on anything soft-planned (or even hard planned for that matter)? Spiraling and all that.

Especially if the person involved is late or didn't respond. Ofc the reaction is to check in, that's what I'd want someone else to do for me if I indicated I'd do something or message someone. However, that can be interpreted as being needy or clingy when really I just want to know the plan and not be left hanging.

Life happens ofc, people gotta cancel plans, that's okay. But what really rubs things wrong is being left without information, that's when the anxiety shoots. Do you wait for them, or go do something else? If you go do something else, what happens when they're suddenly available? That's not respecting my time, so it's rude, but do you convey that?? What if you hinged your day on something, that just throws a big ass wrench in.

Everyone is living their own lives, and things happen, preventing communication. It just feels like it's more common than it used to be, or more... Negligent?

Gah.

I guess /rant really.

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[–] Alteon@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

5-1-0

Plan something 5-days in advance to do something.

Reach out 1-day ahead and ask if they are still up for doing it. It provides them with an out, and opens up your day tomorrow in the off chance that they have to cancel.

On the day of the planned activity, let them know you'll be heading out shortly to meet them at x place at y time.

For extra soft plans (i.e. do you want to get together and study later this evening?), still text before hand about an hour or so as it gives them a quick reminder, and allows you to alter plans.

Communication works both ways, and sometimes people need reminders. If they don't respond, just let them know you didn't hear from them and you're going to do something else. Don't freak out about it. People waffle on things all the time.