this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2023
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So...divorce them?
There is nothing wrong with keeping separate bank accounts but it's shady as fuck to keep a secret one. If you feel the need to do that, you don't trust them so you're clearly not in the right relationship
Well yes but it would be nice not to have to move in with parents that may be dead or assholes or friends that have no room. The secret stash is for moving out safely and quickly.
You can have a stash without it being secret.
What's stopping a suddenly violent spouse from demanding the "stash"?
If you have separate bank accounts you are likely to have several thousands on one account. You can restrict the maximum amount you can withdraw in a day without visiting the bank personally. It would take a week or so to withdraw all the money and send it to your violent spouse.
The only way this would work is if you couldn't leave the house or call anyone - after all, you'd still have a large chunk of your money left. And if your spouse doesn't allow you to leave after becoming violent, what's to stop them from doing this if your stash was secret?
Also you can tell the bank the transaction was fraudulent and you'll likely get your money back.