this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2023
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Impossible. That perfect partner could turn darkside on you years into marriage.
Most people who marry think they found the perfect partner, but the divorce rates say otherwise.
So...divorce them?
There is nothing wrong with keeping separate bank accounts but it's shady as fuck to keep a secret one. If you feel the need to do that, you don't trust them so you're clearly not in the right relationship
Well yes but it would be nice not to have to move in with parents that may be dead or assholes or friends that have no room. The secret stash is for moving out safely and quickly.
You can have a stash without it being secret.
What's stopping a suddenly violent spouse from demanding the "stash"?
If you have separate bank accounts you are likely to have several thousands on one account. You can restrict the maximum amount you can withdraw in a day without visiting the bank personally. It would take a week or so to withdraw all the money and send it to your violent spouse.
The only way this would work is if you couldn't leave the house or call anyone - after all, you'd still have a large chunk of your money left. And if your spouse doesn't allow you to leave after becoming violent, what's to stop them from doing this if your stash was secret?
Also you can tell the bank the transaction was fraudulent and you'll likely get your money back.
You've clearly never been married and have no idea what you're talking about. Hiding secrets and saying it's impossible not to is the most destructive thing you could do to your marriage. On top of all, hiding assets from a spouse during a divorce amounts to contempt of court and carries a penalty and additional legal battles and expenses. Please don't recommend anyone to do it.
Sure but it's always good to keep a backup/bug out plan.
I would absolutely keep enough money set aside to at least get an apartment and furnish the necessities immediately. That's smart.
Then find a partner who is okay with having separate bank accounts that you can keep your own money in. It doesn't have to be a secret.