this post was submitted on 19 Apr 2024
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[–] Fosheze@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Asexual ≠ Not Liking Sex

Asexual = Not Feeling Sexual Attraction

The way I usually describe it as an asexual guy is that there's basically noone I find hot. That doesn't mean they're the opposite. It just like a sense I lack or a color I can't see. I just don't feel sexual attraction. But I do still like people based on other types of attraction and sex is still fun. For me platonic attraction is the main criteria for sexual partners. It's just a fun activity between close friends like watching a movie or playing a board game.

That's not to say that there aren't asexual people who don't like sex because those people do exist, but how much a person likes sex is on the sex repulsion to sex favorable axis and is only tangentally related to asexuality.

[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This is really helpful thank you

Could you elaborate further on platonic attraction? The internet says a platonic relationship is a relationship without romance or sex. This seems to contradict with it being a criteria for sexual partners for you but maybe I'm confusing things

[–] hikaru755@feddit.de 0 points 5 months ago

If you label a relationship as platonic, that usually serves to make it explicit that there's no romance or sex going on, yes.

When talking about attraction though, we're in the context of the split attraction model (look that up if you're interested), and there, platonic attraction is treated not as the opposite of sexual attraction, but as its own axis for basically saying "how much do I want this person to be my friend", without saying anything about how much you're sexually attracted to the person.

If you want to properly reconcile the terms, think about it like this - a sexual/romantic relationship is one where the sexual/romantic attraction between the partners is the strongest force, whereas a platonic relationship is one where their platonic attraction is the strongest force.

I personally actually have a hard time seeing platonic and romantic attraction as separate axes, for me, romantic attraction just feels like an extension, a stronger form of platonic attraction.