First it starts with a comedy video which turns into this weird creepy thing about kids running through the Paris sewers, encountering an alligator, then getting rowed out and into the Seine by a ghost and it cuts to reality and all the nations are going down the river on boats past a bunch of water jets because they're not doing this in a stadium.
This looks awful and ridiculous. Compare this to the spectacle of London 2012.
Now they're doing some weird old Hollywood movie musical style musical number with Lady Gaga and she's on a staircase, which is... somewhere in Paris?
I am so fucking confused.
Edit: They just cut to Macron and he looks as confused as I am.
This question is the most interesting thing I've ever heard about a sporting event.
No sport could ever be as exciting as a ghost doing parkour.
Yeah, but it's a dumb looking ghost. It's like an Assassin's Creed character without a face. But he does have the power to bring everything in the Louvre to life, so there's that.
Also, I just saw Napoleon BMXing.
It's okay, you've already sold me
Modern parkour and Assassin's Creed developers Ubisoft are both French, so it was probably just intentionally showing off popular French stuff
For you the day that Napoleon opened the Olympics BMXing your life was changed.
For Napoleon it was a Friday.