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If a person from 1700 asked you your job, would they understand your answer, and if not, how would you explain it to them? (lemm.ee)

submitted 7 months ago by JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

What do you do?

[–] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 0 points 7 months ago (5 children)

I'm an in-house consultant for Enterprise Content Management.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Huh. Somehow I understand even less what you do than before I read that.

[–] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 0 points 7 months ago

My job is to leverage the core competencies of my employer into win win scenarios by proactively and synergistically reengineering document based processes. I hope that clears it up.

[–] dandroid@sh.itjust.works 0 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

I'm thinking of the episode of That '70s Show where Kelso's dad is trying to explain to Kelso what he does for a homework assignment.

Kelso: "OK, let's get started. Question number one, what's your job?"

John: "I'm a senior executive statistical analysis technician."

Kelso: "You're a senior execu… what?"

John: "Well, in plain English, I concatenate the verse statistical information to maximize the potential utilization of data."

Kelso: "So you give people data!"

( Kelso is on the verge of writing it down. )

John: "A lot of people think that. No. My job's not about output, it's about throughput."

Kelso: "So you throughput data!"

John: "Well, now you've lost me, son. Oh, listen Michael, you know the eight tracks you love so much?"

Kelso: "You make them!"

John: "No, but because of us, other people who make them are able to make them better."

Kelso: "So, you fix stuff!"

John: "You could say that..."

( Kelso starts writing. )

John: "But I wouldn't."

( Kelso erases it with frustration. )

And then it keeps going on the like for a while.

[–] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 0 points 7 months ago

Yeah, that's pretty much how it goes for me.

[–] PostProcess@lemmy.world 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Please tell me it's not Opentext...

[–] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 0 points 7 months ago

Fortunately not. I haven't quite descended to the seventh circle of hell yet.

[–] shea@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Im gonna guess, is that a job where you advise a company on how to organize, store, and use "enterprise content" (im gonna guess that's like internal materials like training stuff, internal tools/software)

[–] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 0 points 7 months ago

Not totally wrong.

[–] KISSmyOS@feddit.de 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Sounds IT-related. Can you fix my printer?

[–] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 1 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Best I can do is strangle you with a USB cable.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Nice. This is my new go-to answer for that question.

[–] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 1 points 7 months ago

I'm sure your granny will be thrilled.

[–] KISSmyOS@feddit.de 0 points 7 months ago

If it means I never have to deal with printers again, I'll take it.

[–] assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm down. The safe word is 'wenches'.

[–] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 0 points 7 months ago

Have you been stalking me?