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I usually button the button and immediately forget to zip the fly. Hours later after I've been in public all day I'll notice that the fly is unzipped and try to zip it without anyone noticing.
Reminds me of the story of the guy who was told his fly was down, so turned 180° from the people he was with to fix the issue, as is expected. Except in this case, he previously had his back to a much larger group of people (think cliques at a party), so basically zipped up in front of way more people than he would have done if he hadn't turned around.
So you want us to show you our arseholes while you're showing everybody your peehole? You are a master of business.