Shitty admin

So, to be able to transmit packets wirelessly, it needs a medium to communicate them over. If you stick it in the microwave for a while, it should begin to absorb the microwave radiation. Once it's full enough (minimum 20 minutes in microwave, recommend full hour if you have the time), it should then start emitting excess microwave radiation that your devices can pick up, and then you can check your e-mail.