this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2024
119 points (98.4% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26980 readers
1237 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

My daughter is 5 now. She's discovered the joy of telling jokes. Unfortunately, her repertoire is painfully small. I've also realised most of my jokes are either not age appropriate or too situational.

What are best/worst kids jokes? Extra points for any that would make her teacher groan. Apparently she LOVES jokes. 😁

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] missingno@fedia.io 37 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Why did the blind man fall in the well? He couldn’t see that well.

A man goes to the doctor and says "I think I have hearing problems." "Can you describe the symptoms?" "Sure! Homer's fat and Marge has blue hair."

Did you hear about the huge sale at the Lego store? People were lined up for blocks.

I sat down for dinner at a restaurant, and the waiter asked me, "Do you want to hear today’s special?" I said, "Yes please." "No problem sir. Today is special."

I'd tell you a time travel joke, but you didn't get it.

I used to work at a toy factory making plastic Draculas. There were only two of us, so I had to make every second Count.

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

First 3 should get a good reaction. The rest require context I'm more sure she's picked up on properly yet.

[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago

I don't get the Simpsons one

[–] Classy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] MrsDoyle@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

My favourite joke, being the only one I can remember. Still gets a laugh!