this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2024
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not knowing someone's pronouns & assuming wrong =/= misgendering
knowing someone's pronouns and intentionally using the wrong ones = misgendering
Also, fighting years of muscle memory =/= misgendering.
I might have misgendered an old friend of mine shortly after they started transitioning, but they knew it was a mistake and didn't seem to care.
Yeah absolutely this. I've seen too often in trans spaces when these sorts of accidents aren't given any leeway or grace. We're all human though, and it bothers me when folks are put down when there was zero malicious intent.
My mum deadnamed me more recently, despite me being out for almost eight years now. But she called me my older brother's name first, then deadname, then Norah. She was mortified, and apologised profusely. How could I hold any ill will against her for that?
What is it with mothers accidentally using the wrong names? It's not like most mothers nowadays have 5 children who all look nearly the same.