this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2024
63 points (100.0% liked)

Europe

1578 readers
547 users here now

News and information from Europe 🇪🇺

(Current banner: La Mancha, Spain. Feel free to post submissions for banner images.)

Rules (2024-08-30)

  1. This is an English-language community. Comments should be in English. Posts can link to non-English news sources when providing a full-text translation in the post description. Automated translations are fine, as long as they don't overly distort the content.
  2. No links to misinformation or commercial advertising. When you post outdated/historic articles, add the year of publication to the post title. Infographics must include a source and a year of creation; if possible, also provide a link to the source.
  3. Be kind to each other, and argue in good faith. Don't post direct insults nor disrespectful and condescending comments. Don't troll nor incite hatred. Don't look for novel argumentation strategies at Wikipedia's List of fallacies.
  4. No bigotry, sexism, racism, antisemitism, dehumanization of minorities, or glorification of National Socialism.
  5. Be the signal, not the noise: Strive to post insightful comments. Add "/s" when you're being sarcastic (and don't use it to break rule no. 3).
  6. If you link to paywalled information, please provide also a link to a freely available archived version. Alternatively, try to find a different source.
  7. Light-hearted content, memes, and posts about your European everyday belong in !yurop@lemm.ee. (They're cool, you should subscribe there too!)
  8. Don't evade bans. If we notice ban evasion, that will result in a permanent ban for all the accounts we can associate with you.
  9. No posts linking to speculative reporting about ongoing events with unclear backgrounds. Please wait at least 12 hours. (E.g., do not post breathless reporting on an ongoing terror attack.)

(This list may get expanded when necessary.)

We will use some leeway to decide whether to remove a comment.

If need be, there are also bans: 3 days for lighter offenses, 14 days for bigger offenses, and permanent bans for people who don't show any willingness to participate productively. If we think the ban reason is obvious, we may not specifically write to you.

If you want to protest a removal or ban, feel free to write privately to the mods: @federalreverse@feddit.org, @poVoq@slrpnk.net, or @anzo@programming.dev.

founded 5 months ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Jayjader@jlai.lu 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So, a few things:

  • many of the men accused have stated that the husband pitched the idea as "this is a kink she really enjoys, being drugged and then having sex with strangers". (Of course they never pretend to have met her in person beforehand to get her consent for the whole thing in the first place)
  • there are some that have said "what's the big deal? It's his wife, he gets to decide to lend her out to his friends." (!)

I don't know how many of the first group are being honest, but the existence of both can give you an idea of how bad our culture used to be towards rape, and still is to a large extent.

There's a pretty striking moment of archival footage, from the 60s or 70s I think, of some french dude being asked in the street "and you, have you ever raped a woman?" And his response is a very matter-of-fact "well, of course!".

People don't want to believe that rapists are, in many ways, just ordinary people. So they both refuse to see it in others, and refuse to see themselves as capable of even contributing to the problem. Hopefully this can be the wakeup call many men here in France need to realize they must push back when their friends make rape jokes, for ex.

[–] xor@infosec.pub 1 points 1 month ago

i’m sure the first one was the plausible deniability the husband set up… but still if they never met her beforehand, there’s no way they can pretend like they thought is was consensual….
and even if it was, i can’t imagine anyone who isn’t at least a latent rapist would go through with that….
i hate to “kink shame” but serial killers often start off with “consensual non consent” and bdsm… if that really gets you off and you indulge in it, there’s a very thin line between that person and an actual predator.

like, some of that stuff is perfectly fine, but the idea of meeting a man with a drugged unconscious woman and just taking his word that everything is fine and with her knowing, is just absurd…
….
i do hope that rape jokes will go the way of racist jokes… i mean, they usually aren’t considered acceptable…