this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2024
117 points (100.0% liked)

Transfem

3422 readers
831 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

That is, wife (43) and daughter (12). Told them I was re-evaluating myself and who I wanted to be, and that I wanted to try being "cuter" (didn't quite have the courage to go further), and that perhaps men's clothing didn't suit me.

The wife was mostly "yeah, right" -- seemed happy that I was trying to improve myself but seems to think it's just a phase (maybe it is? idk).

But my daughter was right on board! Came up with a load of outfit and makeup suggestions, and proposed going to an anime convention together, dressed up. I asked her if she'd think it was weird for me to go about dressed as a gothic lolita, and the response was "no, I think it'd be cute."

So next step is maybe cute anime girl cosplay at home, with an ally!

I'm literally shaking with ... excitement? fear? relief? I have no idea. Ohgodohgodohgod what am I doing...

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] IonAddis@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

This is definitely one of those truths. In situations like this, it's both right that someone should be their best happiest self...but it's also true the other partner had their own expectations for a relationship, which might not be one where she's partnered to someone taking their life in a wildly different direction than what was expected early in the relationship.

It's a case where neither party is necessarily wrong, but things can end up hurting on both sides. Kind of like if other things were thought to be communicated early on, and is changed...like someone saying they're child free then trying to have a baby, or someone saying they intend to focus on career then doing something to wildly impact finances of the couple. Changing one's mind isn't wrong, nor is growing and learning about yourself, it's natural, but it can cause an incompatibly to pop up in a relationship that hurts or ends it, esp if it's not talked about, and esp if it's on a topic that greatly changes the nature of a relationship from the original agreement or assumptions and beliefs.

[–] ramble81@lemm.ee 5 points 4 months ago

Thank you for understanding it and stating it more eloquently than I could. I was scared to bring it up for being “too negative” but I lived through seeing things more closely than I cared to.