Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

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Anon has trouble assimilating (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 2 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 132 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

You don't fuck the pillows, that would be disrespectful. Instead you lay next to them, stare lovingly into their eyes, and beat your dick so hard that it gets a restraining order and files for custody of your balls.

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 92 points 2 months ago

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 41 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Apart from the pillow's involvement, how is that different than a normal Tuesday night?

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You don't fuck it

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What about the couch?

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 2 months ago

Only if you're a weird Republican

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Couches are sluts, they're up for anything.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

If it'll not consent to Vance then it must be up for anything

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 2 months ago

Mom makes meatloaf on Tuesdays.