Ask Lemmy

I overall agree that for some things it can make sense to have separate gendered spaces, shelters make sense, I can see gyms, etc. places where people are feeling particularly vulnerable, self conscious, dealing with trauma, etc. and being around the opposite gender could be a part of that.

But in other cases, I think the right move is to get over ourselves and be rid of pointless gendering in some activities.

A lot of my friends and myself are traditionally "manly" in a lot of ways, outdoorsy, cigar smokers, whiskey drinkers, a lot of us work with our hands, like guns, etc. That said, we're a pretty enlightened group, we're not out shit-talking our wives and engaging in demeaning "locker room" talk and such when we get together to have what could be loosely called our "boys nights out." It's happened from time to time that a female friend ends up tagging along and absolutely nothing changes about our behavior, the fact that there is a woman in the room in no way takes away from the experience, and if anything adds to it in a "the more the merrier" sort of way. Any woman who is willing to put up with the cigar smoke, fart jokes, peeing on trees in the woods, etc. is more than welcome to come along, it just happens that most don't enjoy that.

Now of course you also run into a whole lot of complicated situations, the way men tend to interact with other men, and the way women interact with other women are different. I'm not going to go into all of the nature vs nurture, societal expectations, toxic masculinity, etc. involved but all of that certainly plays a big part. I'm no sociologist, but my overall impression (and I may be wrong)is that women can kind of mesh into the male social structure without making too many waves provided that the men aren't assholes (which is far from guaranteed,) but it's very hard for a lot of men to get themselves into the right kind of headspace to participate in the sort of socializing women want and need from their social groups without disrupting things to the point that the women aren't able to get what they need out of it.

And circling around to shelters, men may need more shelters by sheer numbers, but on average each individual homeless woman is probably in a more vulnerable position than the average homeless man. Really more shelter space is needed across the board.

As a woman. Spit your shit king. I always preach for Equal rights amongst men. So many people wanna be like "PATRIARCHY" but fail to realize that the "patriarchy" ALSO harms men, and it harms them a lot. I'm more in tune with dudes and their struggles than I am with other women. To imagine me being a man with the mental health issues I have right now. To be called names or whatever for being depressed or wanting to speak about my emotions feels so fucking dystopian for me. It's fucked up.

As a woman, I can wear LITERALLY WHATEVER I WANT and no one would really give a shit. The worst that can happen is cat calling and other flirty nonsense. For a man to even dare wear a fucking skirt let alone want to wear makeup gets them demonized and labeled as Transexuals. Meanwhile I can wear a suit and tie and get complimented on because of it. Woman dominate majority of Alt fashion and (seemingly) cosplay; I dream of a day to see men of all kinds engaging with Street Tech, Academia, Kawaii, Goth, Emo, and other fashion styles like that. The limits society puts on men is astounding, its depressing for me as a woman to go into spaces where fashion or cosplay or even just being Asexual are discussed and not see any men. I prefer making friends with guys, I always had. To this day my friend group is majority men, and we all have a good ass fucking time. I hope one day that these barriers can be broken. I'm sick of everyone treating men's alt fashion or theater or cosplay as "Gay man" stuff and I'm tired of it being represented that way.

Agreed. The need for all kinds of mens-groups is probably higher than it has ever been. I'd love something where I could join a group of men and build / fix something together.