Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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Doesn't selfhosting headscale prevent the keys to the kingdom thing you're talking about?
Yes. But it removes some benefits. You again open some ports or use a VPS to host it. The benefit of not needing to have open ports on other servers and central auth and management still stands.
Nebula you also need a VPS or something public for the coordination server ('lighthouse node'). Seems there's no way around that at the moment: at least one machine, of your own or another's, has to have a public IP so the other machines can learn how to connect to each other.