I have female friends who never reported or did anything about it, out of stigma (what were you wearing? Were you asking for it? Are you faking?), shame (why was he able to get you alone?) Or not expecting justice to come of reporting it (you'll ruin his life, it was a mistake, I'm sure you deserved it, we don't have enough evidence.)

That pendulum swings both ways.

[–] Demdaru@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

Meanwhile men don't have access to support groups, are not supported by anyone when they admit it, get straight up ridiculed for this ever happenning by both everyday people and justice system...

It happens to both genders. But we managed to build fundamental lattice of support for one of them (fundamental as in there's still so much to do), while failing to even recognize the other one faces this problem too. We do not have to compromise on helping one side to help the other - that's straight up not an option. But we should help, and recognize the need of help, for both.

[+] iheartneopets@lemm.ee -8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Fucking thank you. Men's libbers (and there's a loooooot of them on lemmy, as you can see in your downvotes) like to trot out the "men don't report because of stigma!" line, but it's like, my guy, women do too?? For every woman brave enough to report, there's anywhere from 5-10 that don't report at all due to fear/stigma.

Of course rape happens to men (mostly by other men) too. But, couple things:

it's not a competition or dick measuring contest. Rape is bad, m'kay? Regardless of gender.
it's disingenuous to say that it happens to men just as much, or more. It feels icky, like they're shoving themselves in a victimhood narrative where they don't belong.

[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 20 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I have to ask, what do you hope to accomplish with this line of discussion?

So far we have:

Men have it worse? What about RAPE!?
Ok maybe men get raped but it's by other men (...and therefore what?)
Anyone who downvotes is a men's libber
Ok rape is bad full stop regardless of gender but
Saying men get raped more (who said this btw?) means they are trying to be victims when they don't belong as victims.

Let me tell you, as a man who struggles with mental health, there are a shit load of "men's help" content creators that bait the hook with showing empathy for men's issue and then sprinkle just enough mysogonisric bullshit in there to get people to start sliding down that slippery slope.

Talk like this is exactly what makes people think "you know what, maybe this misogynistic asshole had a point, I tried to say that maybe men shouldn't be mistreated then got told that because men rape people, we don't matter."

I know that's not your point or what you wanted to say, but just read back what your said and try to imagine you're reading it as someone struggling with mental health. Maybe even try reversing the genders and see if you're still ok with what you said.

Personally I think women in general have a harder time, but why does that matter here? There are plenty of issues unique to or especially bad for men, women, nb folks and we should be discussing issues with empathy for both sides and not falling down these extremist, side picking rabbit holes trying to play 'gotcha'. That just hurts everyone.

In terms of downvotes, I'd note that the person actually asking for the evidence that men are treated worse overall is (imo rightfully) upvoted at this time. So I'd challenge your assumption that everyone who downvoted you is a certain type of person.

[–] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world -4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

The root cause is, almost, always men though. The majority of men's societal problems is the cause of a society that has, nearly exclusively, been controlled by men, for thousands of years. The same is true for women. Also, most of women's problems with violence come from men. Most of men's problems with violence come from men. Women are the victims of rape, and homicide, nearly completely due to men. This same thing goes for men with these problems. In fact, men are so bad to men, men are more likely to be the victim of homicide than women, and men make up nearly 100% of those homicides.

I say this as a man. A man who had a woman poison me, and nearly murder me. The men problem is the one that needs to be addressed first. This has to happen because men, and the society we built, are the reason for the majority of the problems we have today.

With the question of violence, and many other societal, problems, it's men, all the way down.