this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2024
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Anything that makes you apply your hand to your face.
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Yeah... Puuh. That's not a normal thing to say. If it's dark humor, and said with irony, it might be perfectly fine, and even funny. Because then, they don't actually mean it. But, if they do mean it? Sheesh. You dodged a poison leaded bullet.
Hard to explain exactly. I think she meant it humorously, except in a way where she kinda meant it? I think it was in the context of her ex sexually abusing her and me saying I was nothing like that.
It's not cool to say, "my ex was a crazy bitch." I was no paragon of maturity myself. But I do think she had some issues. She was about 22 (I think that's how old I was) and that had been her second marriage, and there were issues with how we treated one another that spoke to both of our immaturities.
I think the whole thing lasted about 3 months, so it wasn't like it was so bad that I instantly left. But it sticks in my craw nearly thirty years later. On some level, she meant that. And she probably told her next partner I was part of the pattern of abuses she suffered—waving her damage around like a broken wing looking for... something.
She's probably grown up by now. Most of us do. Those are some really awkward years for a lot of us.
ETA: Thinking on it, the thing is she was trying to bring me down to her ex's level. She was joking that I shouldn't hold myself above the guy who abused her. That's just not funny even in a playful way. No matter how tee hee you say it, that's toxic as fuck.