this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
93 points (93.5% liked)

No Stupid Questions

35866 readers
1907 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I have a problem with establishing boundaries.

I'm a private person. That's very often misinterpreted as being arrogant and feeling superior to others. I'm not, I just wish to be left alone, but people still feel disrespected and it's tiring to be constantly explaining yourself. And I don't understand why I have to explain myself constantly.

This very emotional and thankful patient wanted a picture with me and I stupidly agreed. He also wanted my phone number (I gave him a false one) to invite me to have lunch, as he celebrated his 70th birthday. I don't believe it was sexual or romantic, because he is married, his wife was there when he extended the invitation and took the picture and he also wanted to invite the whole unit.

I acted like this because it was the easiest way to get him to leave the hospital and free the room but also because I didn't want to cause a scene.

What could I do next time?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] EatATaco@lemm.ee 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Spitting on someone, aside from being freaking nasty, mean, and frequently motivated by some type of bigotry

It's a figure of speech. This is just pedanticism that completely avoids the actual point I made.

Also, why do you- or whoever- get to have their feelings considered, but not OP’s? why do you feel like you- or whoever- is so entitled to another person’s likeness that they should just “Suck it up”?

Because it's the OP asking for advice on what to do in a certain situation. If it were someone else asking me what to do in the situation where they want to take a picture with someone that doesn't want their picture taken, I would tell them to suck it up and go home without the picture.

This is ignoring the simple reality that sometimes, that photo going up on the internet puts the person who didn’t want it up in direct, literal, harm. maybe their profession has some religious prohibition that there’s violation. Maybe there’s a stalker ex. Maybe they’re in some type of witness protection or secret agent.

Except they gave us a reason: "I'm a private person." Almost the first line of their post. The situation we were presented isn't some case where it's dangerous for them to have their picture taken. They just don't want it. If it is risky for them, absolutely just decline.

People should be respected when they say “no, I don’t want my picture taken.”

Absolutely. But he didn't say this, and explicitly said he doesn't want to explain himself. So I responded to their actual request.

It’s best to simply be candid and decline.

I disagree. I get not wanting to give your number out to a patient or see one outside of work, and in that case you decline. I think most would understand this and not be offended.

But this person just wants a picture with them, baring some ridiculously rare shit that they made implicitly clear is not the case, it's a simple, virtually riskless request and it's best to just make another person happy and take a picture with them.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I agree that it would be a nice gesture, and I probably wouldn't decline, but to just discount OPs feelings about it is FAR more rude than declining to be in a photo.

They don't like it, and they should not consent just because it'll make someone feel better.

I could go for a blowjob right now, I mean, it's no big deal, will only take a few minutes and I'll feel much better afterwards. It's a simple, virtually riskless request (I know for a fact I don't have any STIs) it's best just to make another person happy and suck a dick.

Just because you're ok with getting your picture taken, that doesn't mean that someone else has to be. There are plenty of people who wouldn't think twice about sucking off a stranger, how would you feel if they told you to just "deal with it"?

[–] EatATaco@lemm.ee 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

but to just discount OPs feelings about it is FAR more rude than declining to be in a photo.

I didn't discount them. They asked for advice, which included not having to explain themselves, and I gave it to them.

And I feel pretty justified in my position if the counter position requires comparing getting your picture taken to sucking a dick.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I feel very uncomfortable doing this.

Who cares, just fucking do it anyway.

Real supportive there. Your feeling of justification just tells me you don't want to understand.

[–] EatATaco@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Who cares, just fucking do it anyway.

I didn't say no one cares, I said it would be something i tell my children to suck up and do anyway. Just like cleaning their rooms, brushing their teeth, or dressing nicely: all things that will help them out, and be pleasant for those around them, even if they don't particularly like them.

But apparently we've gotten to the point where im just being misrepresented. If you don't want to see my position, I can't force you to.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If you don't want to see my position, I can't force you to.

Likewise. Have a great day.

[–] EatATaco@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

When have I blatantly misrepresented your position? Let alone multiple times?

[–] Agrivar@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You haven't, as you know.

I am late to this post and have now read through more than enough. You've been answering the OP's actual question honestly and from your perspective, and a bunch of random weirdos are bending over backward to find reasons to argue. Thank you for your patience with them - I love it when I can add more chuds to my block list without having to go through the hassle of engaging with them myself!

[–] EatATaco@lemm.ee 1 points 3 months ago

Appreciate it. But, make no mistake, I'm normally the chud who belongs on a block list. lol

[–] 14th_cylon@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

If you don't want to see my position

Dude, everyone sees your position clearly, you spend few hundred paragraphs repeating yourselves, and explaining that feelings of the person asking are more important than feelings of the person being asked and therefore it is rude to decline the wish.

People are disagreeing with you because that position is stupid and creepy, not because they don't understand.