Rough Roman Memes

It's especially bizarre considering the emphasis on moderation that the Romans themselves prized and characterized themselves by. Excessive aggression? Barbaric. Excessive height? Barbaric. Excessive sex? Barbaric. Excessive chastity? Barbaric. Excessive dong? Oh, you better believe that's barbaric. Yet all of these guys pursuing these 'traditional' (actually quite recent but w/e) ideas of masculinity are sitting here trying to figure out the best path to become some hyper-roided meathead.

Like, Rome has its problems, and as a pre-modern society shouldn't be emulated in any case, but people who go all-in on ideas of modern 'masculinity' yet adore Rome are really missing the forest for the trees. "ROMANS WERE TOUGH", yes, Romans considered themselves hardier than most (though not hardier than barbarians - there's that middle-ground again) - but they considered it essential to bathe daily, take leisurely walks for physical and mental health, and idealized a pescatarian diet. The fuckin' caveman diet and grooming routine, or whatever is the latest fad, ain't even close.

The Roman Emperors who Roman historians spoke best about were mild sorts - Augustus was a gardener who never went out in the sun without a broad-brimmed hat and made up goofy phrases on the spot. Vespasian was an easygoing and generous man who was comfortable enough with his own body to make jokes about how long another guy's dong was. Titus was a bisexual amateur musician who played the harp, and an athlete with a pot belly who hated to let anyone leave an audience with him without getting something for their troubles. Trajan, who brought the Empire to its greatest extent, was himself praised most of all for being mild and cooperative, and encouraging others to behave the same way; not for running some zero-sum Battle Royale social darwinist shit.

About the only thing they get right is the crowd going WIIIIILLLD for blood sports. But the Romans regarded that as a family-friendly activity, not a sign of masculinity, lmao.