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How do you get over the fact that not everyone will like you? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 3 months ago by PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

60 comments fedilink hide all child comments

It’s obvious and you would be deluded into thinking everyone you interact with likes you.

But how do you feel it?

Context: I’m a course instructor and I get direct reviews on my lessons and around 95% of feedback is positive to very positive.

There’s less than 5% of my reviews that have real negative and non-constructive comments. Things like accusations of being incompetent or unprepared or full of shit, etc. They mention times I had technical difficulties or made a mistake (like giving an incorrect response)

Just by the numbers alone this is a very small minority overall. Yet these comments stick in my head and make me doubt my abilities.

So what are your strategies or ways you drown out this stuff?

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[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Honestly? I think you just have to age out of it. Like you said, it's just a fact that not everyone will, but if you care about being liked in the first place, chances are that only time giving you opportunity to not be liked, and absorb the lesson that it doesn't hurt anything, will move you past that desire.

Me? I had jobs where it was damn near constant hate in one way or another. Patients with dementia on my main job, plus the occasional coworker that just didn't mesh. On my steadiest side job, I was a bouncer, and if you go a night without someone hating your guts, mark that shit in the calendar because it's your new holy day.

So I had my give-a-shitter demolished by the time I could drink legally, and I'm not joking. By the time I was 21, I just did not give a fuck about being liked. It's nice when it happens, but it wasn't something I put any energy into at all. I just started doing my thing, being me, and enjoying the company of folks that are down with that.

It actually made dating in specific so much more pleasant.

But, yeah, you take enough hits on those reviews, start noticing the pattern that it's people you would never be able to satisfy in the first place, and it'll eventually roll off of you.

[–] KittenBiscuits@lemm.ee 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"Give-a-shitter"

Lol

I may borrow this.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 months ago

You don't want mine. It was defective when I was born, and broke too damn easy lol.

But yeah, have fun with it. It's a family thing, so don't be surprised if you get weird looks if you use it in the synonyms Appalachians :)