this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2024
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NonCredibleDefense

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[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 95 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hear me out!

The best these blokes ever came up with were their specials. So, we throw them off the Ukrainian battlefields with parachutes, where they each have to salvage a burnt out Russian armoured vehicle. Then they can show off how they personalised their tanks before the race starts. Whoever reaches Moscow first wins.

[–] CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 50 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Jeremy Clarkson, Challenger. Talks up the mk 3 but shows up with a mk 1 somehow. Maintains superiority of his tank because it has a tea kettle.

James May, Leopard. Gets the latest model, stands on it's smooth ride.

Richard Hammond, Abrams. Somehow shows up with upgraded engine, but less armor. Anything to make it go even faster.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And if any of them break down, they have to use a T-34.

[–] CptEnder@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I'd watch the shit out of that special .

It has to end with Clarkson flying a drone into James' tank and Hammond somehow flipping an Abrams.

[–] octopus_ink@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 months ago

It has to end with Clarkson flying a drone into James’ tank

James May: Cock!

[–] artemisRiverborne@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Tea kettle is so on point 😂

[–] Summzashi@lemmy.one 12 points 2 months ago

Jeremy Clarkson rolls up in a BM 13 Katyusha with raised suspension. The license plate says ClarksonOrgel