this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2024
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So you're telling me that either Mike Johnson has a wad under his mattress, or is somehow the most based cryptobro in politics? Someone should.... investigate.... this.
Or he’s lying
This is my vote, using Occam's Razor. Or a related option: he's being overly pedantic about terminology (e.g. maybe everything is in a trust or something).
Vance shoots his wad in his couch
Any time Mike Johnson shoots a wad, his son gets a notification about it.
And the pennies caught between the cushion hold more value than his deposit.
Does JD worry about being homosexual because he fucks a Lazy-Boy or does he think it is fine because it is sounds close to Ladyboy and they are real women after all.
Somebody call Coffeezilla
He's kinda busy.
Why would they investigate it? Either he has no money, and is telling the truth, or he "has no money" and will be happy to share his "nothing" to keep an investigation from happening.
It was stated elsewhere that he has
So while most bank accounts do earn interest, apparently he has one which does not.
The investigation part of mine was more insinuation that he had a massive wad of money sitting relatively unsecured in his home.
Looks like he is claiming that he doesn't own anything:
https://www.marketplace.org/2023/11/09/whats-the-deal-with-speaker-mike-johnsons-financial-disclosure/
From that same article:
...yeah, that's what I'm saying. Maybe he's got no money, or keeps it in a bank with no interest for some weird reason, but the more likely scenario is that he has a lot of money he doesn't want to make public. If he's got so much money that it benefits him more to keep it hidden than to let it publicly gain interest, then he's going to be willing to hand some of it off to a corrupt public official to prevent an investigation.
If a real investigation were done, then there would be no reason for him to bribe anyone, which is the more important thing for the vast majority of the government, so they have no reason to do an investigation. I'd like them to, but my preferences aren't going to matter to the guy who only took the job of an investigator for the bribery money. If anything, they'll just do a sham investigation so that they can say "nope, nothing" while walking away with their pockets full of cash.
It's been a long time since this country meaningfully punished a rich man for doing something wrong.