Greatest Generation

When there’s a big blue dot outside the Entrepreneur’s windows, Captain Archer can’t resist taking a team down to trample the Strange New World. But when camping Trip Tucker turns into acid Trip Tucker, T’Pol plays along for her chance to shoot him in the chest. Whose hair is an extra character in this story? Which Star Trek patter is not 5 by 5? Where is Archer currently on the likability scale? It’s the episode that knows it doesn’t have the right stuff.

When Captain Burnham wakes up on a different network for the finale, she does triangle right and earns a chat with a dead Progenitor. But when she turns down the steward job and stashes The Greatest Discovery inside a black hole, an epilogue answers questions that no one knew they had. Is the Geordi training protocol no longer in use? Who was unwilling to wear the loaf? What’s a red flag during any job interview? It’s the episode that stays out of Breen politics.

When the crew of the Entrepreneur is already bored, finding a haunted house vessel seems worth strapping up to explore. But when the horror show inside makes Hoshi’s bad day worse, the world’s smallest space explosion won’t save them from their globulin. Why exactly is Sluggo not well? In what way is Captain Archer like an aging relative? How do you play the America’s Test Kitchen drinking game? It’s the episode where liquid dog shit is a metaphor!

When a busted up Discovery jumps to the middle of a double black hole, the keg left by the Progenitors gets stolen right out from under them by Moll. But when an away team goes undercover to try to retake the tech, Burnham decides to follow the light in search of a series finale. Is there a difference between Beta team and Bravo team? How exactly are the Breen nothing like us? What can never go back into the toothpaste tube? It’s the episode that's terrorized by chainsaws!

When Captain Archer takes advantage of a diplomatic incident to get his new crew their first deep space mission, no one gets along with the Vulcan science officer assigned to be their chaperone. But when some squishy aliens kidnap a Klingon from Enterprise, T’Pol must take command to get the mission over the finish line. How bizarre is a sci-fi bazaar at this point? Which sandwich resembles Trip Tucker? Will this ship go down with the captain? It’s the episode that paints without masking first!

When Disco jumps to the Badlands, they find a Hogwarts library where checking out the next clue KOs Captain Burnham. But when the Breen show up and get their library card revoked, Michael’s journey through the labyrinth finally makes her a little more relatable. What’s involved in podcast pre-production? Who runs DS9 in the 32nd century? Does Moll have a type? It’s the episode that still wants to go to Betazed.

When Voyager wrapped up leaving everyone wanting more, pitching some spicy alternate endings could have avoided the All Good Things comparison. But if there’s no extra time to make a finale truly great, expectations shouldn’t be too high for for a Star Trek podcast either. Why exactly is local news suffering? How did the writers’ room launder Neelix’s character? Whose personal development was the most grating? It’s the episode that never says no without a number.

When the Breen Primarch shows up in a haunted house ship, President T’Rina tries to negotiate and only gets an hour for Captain Burnham. But when an unmovable bluff meets an unstoppable bluff, Rayner starts talking and Book finally gets to do something useful for the mission. Which raw materials are available on Betazed? Should all comm badges have do not disturb mode? What’s the real reason L’ak died in sicksbay? It’s the episode that wants to sell you a timeshare!

When Admiral Janeway has the sads on the anniversary of Voyager’s homecoming, she decides time travel is the best way to do a finale. But when Captain Janeway spreads the cheeks of a Borg-infested nebula, only vase face could decide the outcome of another shortcut home. Who needs to check for flight simulator updates? How did the loaf constrain the stakes? What’s at the bottom of the PAW Patrol kiddie pool? It’s the episode that keeps Marvin Berry in its thoughts.

When the scientist behind the next can koozie puzzle clue leads Discovery to a dusty green planet, Burnham and Tilly beam down just in time to request a sugar cube fun run to the high tower. But when winning the race means becoming the sacrifice, the Prime Directive gets fired into the sun to save a different new Star Trek show. How do you get kicked off of YouTube? What are the two levels of trap? Where are the atheists if not in foxholes? It’s the episode with an Edward Darkin.

When Dr. Mark is forced to go undercover by the Overlookers, he starts impersonating his colleagues and almost incites a mutiny. But when a kidnapped Captain Janeway would rather be sacrificed than saved, Dr. Mark goes eggy and doesn’t wait for a second opinion before making his confessions. What makes for a bad fire season in Southern California? Who is doing Voyager’s safety audits? Why does Tom Paris have a George Constanza wallet? It’s the episode that should have killed Vorik.

When a humiliated nepo-baby no-call, no-shows his job, all his choices have lead to becoming trapped in a transparent case of emotion with Michael Burnham. But when the flashbacks finally get to the bottom of Moll and L'ak’s partnership, it becomes clear why no one can be left behind. Which drinking games are best to play with babies? Where is the agony? Is there a butt in there? It’s the episode that’s a mishmash of feelings and manipulations!

When Voyager finds Talaxians living in a rock, the Delta Flyer crashes there just in time for a demolition notice. But when Dexa and Brax take a liking to Neelix, he helps them draw a line in the regolith that only a Prime Directive breach could resolve. Which is the rarest Yeager? Do these Talaxians need an Iceland app? What’s the best way to avoid dancing at a wedding? It’s the episode that’s always down for a pierogi party.

When Adira brings a bug aboard the Disco after hanging out with their ex, Captain Burnham and Commander Rayner narrowly avoid being Tuvix-ed when they attempt to blurp out of her ready room. But when a groggy future version of Zora lays out the stakes for the rest of the season, they’ll have to Quantum Leap their way through some of Star Trek: Discovery’s greatest hits in order to rectify the timeline. What would happen if Stamets met Wesley Crusher? Do hologram computers have privacy screens? Is Book going for the record? It’s the episode that refuses to show weird, old hand.

When a shuttle trip to a conference takes a predictable turn, Chakotay and Seven find themselves in an environment where the only way to make lifesaving inventions is out of household materials. But when Tom Paris gets forced to go to traffic school, he’ll have to sacrifice points on his license to save the day. Is it okay to call young people ‘primitive’? Can you start a fire with juice and rocks? What is the Bakula Modifier? It’s the episode that’s attached to a hunter gatherer.

When the poem leads an away team to the milk caves on Trill, Culber is way too eager to be inhabited by Jinaal Bix. But while Burnham and Book prove their worthiness in the quarry, Rayner learns Discovery’s crew members are surprisingly verbose. Where is there never any palace intrigue? What’s the first thing you want to do in Wilson Cruz’s body? How do you prep a dimple? It’s the episode that wants more representation eggs in more baskets!

When Michael is left to decide who will take over for Saru as Number One, she makes the startling realization that everyone else is very pro Book Burnham. But when the dirt bike rental owner calls for the 10th time in a row to collect damages, the crew decides they're better off skipping town to chase Moll and L'ak than footing the bill. Doth the Book protest too much? Who's a scorpion and who's a frog? Does Betazed still have the cum plants? It’s the episode that makes you a ganglia you can't refuse.

When Voyager gets a mission from Admiral Philip Baker Hall, Harry Kim tracks down the ancient probe on an irradiated planet. But when the away team encounters bagMEN on the surface who give the Vidiians a run for their money, all it takes is some medical treatment and odor eaters to make their planet habitable again. Which adjustment might be too nippular for the costume department? Who has a dolly grip look? How much loaf can the transporter handle? It’s the episode that wants to launch more menacing probes!

When Captain Burnham and the Discovery get assigned a red directive mission, she and Captain Rayner don’t quite sync up. But when Book is called in to help with The Chase, they track down the thieves and learn that this season’s MacGuffin was already opened by Fred. Why don’t more parents register for airline chair? What’s required to rent a shielded dirt bike? Which characters will season 5 be pivoting to full time? It’s the episode that wants a text before you call.

When Voyager starts communicating in real time with the A-Quad, Dr. Mark takes the opportunity to deeply offend his colleagues. But when he’s finally convinced to revise his work, an episode within an episode barely has time to make any good law. Which vessel is ideal for champagne consumption? When is it ok to stop trying to hook new viewers? What does “let me know what you think” actually mean? It’s the episode where the alcohol shoe is on the other foot!

When Galactica is trapped in a Paulson-style nebula, they make a scary as hell jump to get ammunition for the war. But when President Rosalind suggests running instead of fighting the Cylons, Commander Adama is convinced that hope will save what’s left of humanity. Which actor gives two characters for the price of one? What’s the most likely name for a robot child? Who is more Larkin than Larkin himself? It’s the episode that doesn’t want the software update!

When the Enterprise beams some mysterious riders aboard, it’s a less than 5-star rating by the time they reach their destination. But when the ugliest person in the room uses Spock as a meat sack, navigating home is easy but escaping space madness requires the help of a beautiful Doctor. What are the options for fixing a bent wick? Who is Scotty Basic Instinct-ing at dinner? How do you actually assassinate a Medusan? It’s the episode that’s making time for applesauce!

When Galactica is trapped in a Paulson-style nebula, they make a scary as hell jump to get ammunition for the war. But when President Rosalind suggests running instead of fighting the Cylons, Commander Adama is convinced that hope will save what’s left of humanity. Which actor gives two characters for the price of one? What’s the most likely name for a robot child? Who is more Larkin than Larkin himself? It’s the episode that doesn’t want the software update!

When Kirk beams down for a house party on Cestus III, what he finds instead is an aerial bombardment and one very angry outpost survivor. But when the Enterprise gives chase and the Metrons sense violent intent, a broadcast death match is the only suggestion for conflict resolution. Are Spock and McCoy capable of effectively insulting each other? What kind of utensil can you bring to a dinner party? Is bamboo strong enough to make a bazooka out of? It’s the episode that is somewhat diminished by O’Herlihy’s presence.