Casual Conversation

https://www.mystateline.com/news/national/almost-half-of-young-men-have-never-approached-a-woman-romantically-study/

“In the entire dataset, 29% of men said they never approached a woman in person before. 27% said it had been more than one year. This was larger for men in the age 18-25 group: 45% had never approached a woman in person,” according to the study.

A majority of single males surveyed reported fear as the main reason they do not approach women for dates in person. Fear of rejection and fear of social consequences were the two most common responses.

The data highlights a growing concern in the United States and abroad — loneliness. A 2023 report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found that almost half of U.S. adults report “measurable levels of loneliness.”

It's interesting to say the least. It seems as though the social repercussions and rejection are the most profound reason. While the fear of rejection is easy enough to digest. But I think the fear or social consequences is a relatively new construct.

From what I understand it's the fear of being viewed as a creep to approach a woman out of the blue. Which to me, is reasonable enough. But I don't think I have ever heard my old man or anyone of his generation bringing this to the table.

Yet I do remember asking my friends about picking up hints and whether or not men are really that bad at it. And most them saying the just don't want to risk misinterpreting it.

Perhaps there is an argument to be made that approaching women like this, has fallen out of social fashion. What do you guys think?

p.s. I hope this is casual enough of a conversation. I kinda screwed up my last one, I admit.

Edit: Here is a more detailed paper on the survey for those that are interested

Feel free to have a look at !movies@lemm.ee !television@lemmy.world and !animation@lemm.ee

Me...

What's your plans for this evening?

I'm doing bugger all, it's been a long week, ok when i say bugger all, i mean that ill probably find a film to watch, im thinking ill probably watch 'Alien' again (seen it countless times) ready for when 'Alien: romulus' hits the cinemas.

Those have been my two favorite sodas for decades. Coca-Cola cherry and Dr Pepper. Both I think I had the first time at the end of the 90's when I went back to Poland on vacation to visit relatives. Now there are also those zero sugar variants.

I just think it's so cool that anyone can just make custom toys now and sell them.

Yes a lot of stalls just sell the same thing, but yesterday I went to a fair and the 3 big stalls were so unique.

1st stall was all about high precision toys. Like I can't explain how smooth the toys were. Talking to him he was all about making them as dialed in as possible with these tiny super delicate gears and moving wings on toys, or puzzles that glide like they are oiled off each other. I'm too lazy to go find the thing I bought as I was walking around the house playing with it.

2nd stall was all about large cartoony ones using a printer that can do up to 5 colors! I ended up getting a little dino!

Then the last one was a guy who only printed things he personally designed! With all his pieces being toys that are giant version of lego things like his giant lego light sabers that are straight out of lego star wars

(off his website as I didn't buy anything from him)

It's just so cool that these people can build their own little toy factories and make a variety of toys either in special ways, or make their own unique toys. I know it's not star treck replicators, but it's still just exciting to me.

I actually owned 3d printers in the past, but the effort to dial them in just wasn't super worth it to me, since it felt like an all day activity to get my cheap printer to print my little $2 toy. Would much rather spend $5 to get a much better version off of someone else who spends all day working to make the print quality ace and put their own spin on the toys.

Edit: made it !unfinishedprojects@lemmy.world

I don't mean work in progress stuff. I mean a place of glory for the unshareable, the embarrassments, the failures, the projects you shelved years ago but won't restart or let go of entirely; preferably with a humorous meme twist or mascot. Am I the only one that would find this therapeutic and interesting? Ideas?

Everyone is now asking me what i want for my birthday, there's this strange pressure that because it's a milestone birthday, you have to have something lavish, people say "you're only 50 once you know!" but you're also only 49 once too! and the truth is, i dont know, i haven't got the foggiest idea of what I want.

To be honest id be happy with a couple of bottles of rum, maybe a bottle of red wine, and the obligatory things you'd buy your dad on father's day, things like socks, pants and some Lynx toiletries!!

It's just another birthday.

Edit: i was mainly referring to the presents that some people want to buy me, rather than things to actually do. I'm having the usual birthday bash, so don't go thinking I'll be moping around the house!!

I hope everyone is doing great! I have been having a rough few days hehe, I would normally be sleeping rn but I cant due to anxiety for a few days, i don’t have anyone else to talk with at the moment so here I am

Edittt: Also idk how many of u who come across this are anime fans, ignore otherwise, but for some reason i hv been wanting to watch (something like) toradora once again lol, it kinda keeps my mind occupied so i think of anime all day lol, if anyone has any suggestions pls drop them :)

I was trying to Lucid Dream a few years ago and forgot about this topic and the last days I have been trying to provoke it.

I also work nightshift only since a few years and quit using it because I never had issues sleeping after work but now I threw in 3 mg of Melatonin and what else can I say other than I had the most lucid dream ever in my life.

It felt so real. Normally I get scared after looking into the mirror of my bathroom because it was pitch black and had no reflection. Numbers never made sense either. So while I knew all that I ran to the bathroom and looked into the mirror knowing it won't show reflections and started laughing "It worked".

It's a funny subject to me because everytime I watched the youtube videos and read on the internet I was like "weirdos" and now I can't wait to go back to sleep tomorrow night.

I have a feeling though it was a one time experience. Especially if I don't use melatonin.

Anyone else have had lucid dreams? Perhaps someone doing it daily?

How round robins work: How they work is a person starts a story by laying out the first sentence, and a reply comes up with the next sentence to the story, and whatever replies to that reply becomes the next sentence, and so on and so forth. So it's like if Twitch wrote a novel, though it's a classic game, one that serves as a remedy for writers' block that also happens to be fun.

First person to reply starts the story.

Hey guys, I moved away from home and I miss it every day.

Is anyone in the same position or had the same experience and what helped? Now that we bought the house and have a debt I can't easily get back to where I came from in the near future. Lucky enough though it's only a 8 minute drive (the town I use to live in is about 5 miles away from where I live now).

I think a big part of my thoughts circling is that I grew up in the other town and know all the people and in the town I now live in I barely know anyone... I can't explain they aren't unfriendly, infact most are welcoming and friendly, but have different interests than I do.

My old town had a nice lake that was a 5 minute walk. Now I can't even walk to the lake anymore and even by bike it is about 30 minutes away.

I have just found £160 in an old wallet that ive not used for 6 months.

Although it's not really a win, the wife said we can use it to pay for paint and decorate the living room.

Note to self, don't be so open when finding spare cash!

I don't know where to post this but I just want to get this off my head so just ignore if not interested, kind of all feelings I just felt in a 10 minute time frame out in the wild:

As I walked home two hours ago I passed by a student party. The air was thick with a youthful energy that I recognized all too well—a buzz that seemed to capture both the excitement and uncertainty of those nights where anything felt possible. I know that at 31, I’m still young, but in a different way—a way that carries the weight of experience and the quiet wisdom that only comes from living through those wild, uncharted years.

From the speakers, the unmistakable opening chords of "Blink 182 - First Date" filled the night air. I stopped in my tracks, closed my eyes, and in an instant, I was 19 again. I was back at those hazy, crowded parties, standing nervously by the bar, a little tipsy, trying to work up the courage to talk to someone. Back then, life felt like a series of endless possibilities, each one as intoxicating as the drinks in our hands. I didn’t know where I was headed, and honestly, I didn’t care. The future was a distant thought, overshadowed by the thrill of the present moment.

Then, as if the universe was in on the nostalgia, "Sum 41 - In Too Deep" came on.

I stood there, lost in the music, feeling like I was 19 all over again, but this time with the knowledge and perspective that come with being 31. I remembered the sting of those awkward moments, the times I fumbled for the right words and ended up with nothing but a smile and a kind rejection. But I also remembered the highs—like that one night when, after what felt like an eternity of nervous anticipation, I finally had my first kiss, and it happened to this very song. That kiss, clumsy and sweet, would turn out to be with the woman who is now my wife. Back then, I never could have imagined that the girl I was so nervous to talk to would one day be the person I’d spend my life with.

What can I say? Those were truly unforgettable times. As the memories washed over me, I slowly continued on my way, but I couldn’t resist one last glance back at the party, my ears still tuned to the music. "The Offspring - The Kids Aren’t Alright" was playing now, and I couldn’t help but smile. It was almost as if time had stood still in that moment, even though everything else had changed.

But as I walked away, I also couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness. In those years since, I’ve lost three of my closest friends—one to cancer, another in a car accident, and one to a pulmonary embolism. They were the friends who danced with me to these very songs, who shared in those wild, carefree nights. Their absence makes those memories even more precious, and bittersweet.

Yet, as much as I cherish those memories, I know those days are behind me. They belong to a chapter of my life that’s closed, but not forgotten—especially not when the love that began in those moments is still with me today, and the memories of those we lost continue to live on in my heart.

It's weird because I feel like I will never get the time back. The time between being 16 and about 22. I know I have a lot coming at me in my next years but I know that a lot of it isn't going to be what "was". It's going to be a different great but different ride. With that being said I am in for it but I also would like to experience the other ride one last time, but I can't. I slowl moved on and away from the music and the teens partying because let's be honest. 31 is young but not "22" young where you could just "join the party".

Festivals have also changed. Going to festivals at age 20 was bringing 1000 beer cans and cheap food. Atleast here in Germany. Now it is 75% a kindergarden and all are "normal" people at our camp ground. It's fun but not what it was like at 20. Now we have kids jumping around. Heck, we are going to Summer Breeze and we have an own fridge for baby food... Unthinkable 10 years ago because all the moms and dads at our camping spot were drunk party animals ten years ago. Don't get me wrong - I'm glad they aren't drunk party animals them being parents now. But this is what I mean with "different ride". We share the stories years ago but we won't relive them anytime soon.

A friend for example has "baby time" during Heaven Shall Burn this year. I don't have kids but if I do I know that "ride" is gonna be special because well having a baby brings responsibilities and it might be fun taking care of "your baby". But it's a different fun.

!movies@lemm.ee !television@lemmy.world and !animation@lemm.ee

I just got invited to a meeting for a time zone that doesn't exist this time of year. In the US EST does not stand for Eastern time, it stands for Eastern Standard Time (~November-~March), EST is not an active time zone, it is EDT Eastern Daylight Time. Its a pointless thing, most people probably don't notice, but its wrong.

Fake internet points to anyone who knows why DB-9 bothers me.

Edit: corrected a missing n in an eastern