Is the alternative that we all rent/buy (?) apartments?
No
duplexes/triplexes/etc. exist. And single-family housing does exist in mixed zoning areas. An SFH next to a duplex next to an apartment building is common in my city. However, in this case, the "back yard" is probably enough for a small garden and a bbq, but not a large lawn...which is fine, because there are parks in walking distance.
Ideally, I'd like to not really have neighbors at all after my lifetime of experiences.
Then city and suburbs aren't really for you, and it sounds like something very rural would suit you, and those around you, better.
San Francisco has a bunch of mixed stuff.