jbrains

What does the cat drink?

Yes. Of course. I fail to see where I suggested not softening the rejection. 🤷‍♂️

I write "You can't make them take your no for an answer, they have to choose to do that. It's not a matter of politeness and it's not your responsibility." and people draw conclusions based on facts not in evidence. That. Is. My. Point. Whatever you try to do, they'll find a way to find you rude, so don't take responsibility for that.

Moreover, let's also remember that a less-polite "no" is still a "no", and people need to learn to respect those, too. A sharper "no" is very often the result of 100 attempts to be polite and still be considered rude.

You failed just now, so why would someone take your opinion about this seriously? (If this bothers you, then try reading it again in a cheerier tone. Oh! That didn't help? Strange.)

I don't think extra politeness is going to help you much here. If you don't do what they ask you to do and they don't understand why, they'll probably assume you're being rude, no matter which words or tone you choose.

You don't need to explain yourself. Others need to learn to respect your choices about yourself. Yes, it's tiring. It's their fault, but partly your problem.

Your responsibility ends with "Thank you, but no." Unfortunately, some people will feel hurt by this, no matter how cheerily you say it, because they simply don't expect it. They will tell themselves that you are not being genuine by trying to both remain friendly and deny their request. You can't change this; only they can choose to interpret your response differently. And most people never try this. Instead they merely expect you to be agreeable and do what they want you to do.

If you want to establish your boundaries, then you need to practise letting them feel hurt and not feeling responsible for it. This is one reason I meditate.

Peace.

2010

A group of people who are tired of your unjust bullshit, who are not going to let you shrug it off or get away with it, and who are not going to stop confronting you with it.

Yes. I find it helpful.

Space Invaders.

Mais c'est pas juste!

• Todoist for projects and tasks
• Standard Notes or Obsidian for notes or temporary lists

I prefer to have one authoritative database of tasks (Todoist) and then I use whatever plain text or Markdown tools are available to me in the moment for short term lists. I have settled on Standard Notes for longer term/reference notes, but I could just as easily use anything with plain text files.

You'll almost certainly need both paper and electronic solutions, because you'll remember stuff when you don't have paper handy. If you can get ideas out of your head quickly, that tends to help more than having the right medium available.

I like using paper for scribbling things down while working on a task, but then my phone and computer for almost everything else. And if I have something on paper that I haven't finished, I either move it into Todoist or throw it away.

I'm an old index card person, so I love ripping up completed task lists. It feels very therapeutic to me.

"till och från" is a new one for me, so thank you. I would have used "här och där".

The last formulation makes perfect sense to me. I like to think I could even have written it.

Tusentack för att du tog tid för att förklara lite.