half

joined 7 months ago
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[–] half@lemy.lol 14 points 2 days ago

"We make more money from cars. We half assed the walking instructions. Good luck and fuck you."

[–] half@lemy.lol 1 points 2 days ago

Thanks Christians, now I know 2 more retailers where I can obtain said pill should needs be.

 
[–] half@lemy.lol 2 points 1 month ago

I was mormon. Thankfully my parents paid to traffic me, so I could afford to go to college and cut them off relatively soon after I got home.

289
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by half@lemy.lol to c/youshouldknow@lemmy.world
 

Why YSK: some very dangerous people and organizations use love bombing as a strategy to manipulate and recruit people. Love bombing is often an early warning sign for a traumatizing relationship, so it's helpful to be able to spot the signs.

What it Is

Essentially, it's when someone showers you with love and attention. It often includes a lot of reassurance that you belong with someone or in a group. It can include gifts, flattery, praise, and it usually includes a lot of excitement about your future together or with a group.

The catch is that the love bomb goes away, and you become devalued after the love bomb. This is usually followed by a "discard phase", where if you try to confront the behavior, you are rejected and made to feel at fault. After you've become upset by this, they will often start the cycle again to keep your loyalty.

There are some really key warning signs to look out for:

  1. They give you gifts, especially random gifts
  2. They want all of your attention
  3. They're desperate for commitment from you
  4. You feel pressure to not tell them no
  5. They constantly talk about how much they love you, how special you are, etc.
  6. You feel flattered but uneasy around them
  7. They want to know a lot about you very quickly
  8. They emphasize how much better everything is when you are with them

Where can I spot it?

Love bombing is very common in abusive and manipulative relationships. It's also often noticeable in cult recruiting, when members are trained to shower you with love and affection.

What can I do about it?

It can be good to seek help from a mental health professional if you're already hurt from the effects of love bombing. If you're in crisis, consider contacting a local crisis or emergency line.

If you notice signs of love bombing, there are some strategies that often work to keep people safe:

  • set firm boundaries early
  • stay grounded (i.e., take their praise with a grain of salt)
  • ask, "what might they want from this interaction?"
  • end a relationship if it's not working
  • give as little information out as possible at the start of a relationship
  • ask an objective 3rd party how they feel about your relationship with this person or group

More resources

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/love-bombing https://www.choosingtherapy.com/love-bombing/

[–] half@lemy.lol 39 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I was threatened by local leaders and family if I didn't go on a 2 year mission in another country, then when I got there, they:

  • took my passport immediately and locked it in a building I couldn't access
  • required 12 to 16 hours of work a day, with discipline if productivity dropped
  • refused to provide adequate food or medical care
  • restricted my communication with my family
  • assigned me a companion to surveil me 24/7 and report disobedience to leadership (and assigned me to surveil someone else)
  • disciplined me when I was physically and sexually assaulted by other missionaries

I didn't want to call it trafficking for a long time. I figured maybe God just had a weird way of doing things. But my spouse works at a recovery center for survivors of violence (including trafficking) and helped me realize that's what it was.

A pretty big misconception is that trafficking has to look like selling slaves, and I agree that's an egregious thing, but it can be a lot more broad than that.

There are a lot of resources at https://humantraffickinghotline.org/en if you're curious. My mission experience checked just about every box for labor trafficking, and I've heard very similar stories from a lot of other people who have been missionaries.

[–] half@lemy.lol 15 points 1 month ago (9 children)

The church in the ad is particularly harmful. I had to fight to get out of it, and only after they took 10% of my income for years and trafficked me. They want money, power, and control, not increased numbers at their services.

[–] half@lemy.lol 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Cries in Linux

[–] half@lemy.lol 26 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Anecdotal, but my spouse was in surgery during the outage and it went fine, so I imagine they take precautions (like probably having a test machine for updates before they install anything on the real one, maybe)

[–] half@lemy.lol 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't know about usual, but there is a huge wall between private/ personal and public/ professional for me. Nothing personal ends up under my own name if I can help it. Basically, I'm using my name as if it were the name of a business, and I use an alias or nickname otherwise.

 
[–] half@lemy.lol 3 points 2 months ago

Surprisingly little discourse for a nearly 1:1 vote ratio lol

[–] half@lemy.lol 4 points 2 months ago

Honestly I pretty much just use Lemmy to see the good old fashioned memes. Like everyone is saying, mastodon is the one if you want to follow people.

[–] half@lemy.lol 4 points 2 months ago

Is there a Lemmy equivalent of r/wooosh

 

So. Without trauma dumping, I'll simply say my dad is a bad dad. What's a father's day gift that says "you're dead to me, but I'm still doing things to keep drama at bay"?

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