TotallynotJessica

Not looking for hollow platitudes about how I'll get there someday and how it gets better.

Fine then; I'll tell you the truth. Things don't really change, even when you "get there." Getting better is about learning to live with reality, both in ourselves and the outside world.

I believe many depressing things about life; many ideas that most people refuse to fully accept.

• There is no God or greater purpose, but even if there was; I don't give a shit what they have planned for me.
• We are machines with no free will, created as part of a mechanical process that exists to justify its own existence. Violence is a necessary part of life, as nature is a cruel designer fueled by blood sacrifice.
• Industrial society is fundamentally unsustainable, and we have inherited a generation debt built by that naive revolution.
• Injustice can never be undone, so the only justice possible is minimizing future injustice..
• No one, not even the most powerful are truly in charge of capitalism. The king doesn't rule, only the meta entity of his "kingdom." Rich people don't own shit, because they themselves are slaves to their own class. We serve these inhuman forces, which is why we so often get the short end of the stick.
• Every field I've taken a look into, from filmmaking, to comedy, to business, to psychology, to philosophy, all believe convenient lies because the truth is such a pain to deal with.

I believe all these awful things to be truth, yet in many ways, I still managed to "get there." I didn't need to cloak myself in lies or hide from questioning everything I believe, because I managed to internalize useful ideas that make life worth living:

1. I need to not hate myself, but instead love myself. There is nothing objective about our value assessments of anything. We just deem things good or bad based on if it's useful in some way to serve some goal. When we view ourselves as bad in essence, our happiness is stunted and we are worse at everything. This goes against our ability to get what we want and need, prevents us from being happy, and threatens our evolutionary function. Fighting self hate is good from most perspectives, and it really is the missing puzzle piece for many depressed people.
2. We only ever do our best in the moment. Once we are in a situation, we just do what we always would have done given the circumstances. Any failure in motivation and attention can be traced into the past, so what does happen is what needed to happen. Even with an unwritten future, there is a written past, and the present is always the result of it. As a consequence, we must live and do in the moment, prepping for the future, and rolling with whatever we have once the time comes. Basically, zen shit
3. Being grateful for what good things we have is like a double exposure for our happiness. Pleasures feel hallow if we don't appreciate them, so by remembering all the good things a at regular points in the day, we don't lose sight of them. It's just a helpful strategy to fill the void :)
4. Meditation can help with all of these things by giving you better control of your own thoughts. It's a skill that must be practiced, but again, it does make things suck a lot less

Thanks to these self help strats (🤮), I can brave the apocalypse, brought to us by capitalism, imperialism, and natural itself! It kind needs to be self help, as one cannot escape from the pit of misery without working to do it themselves:

NO ONE CAN SAVE YOU, EXCEPT YOU.

If you don't give an earnest attempt, you won't make it. You still might not make it, as outside forces can doom you from the start, but if that is the case, at least you still lived the best life you could have.

I'm beginning to realize that every person I click with has ADHD or autism. If someone is neurotypical, I just can't fully jive with them.

I'm both sexless and don't view my horny thoughts as inherently superior to those of men, but that's because it's fine to have horny thoughts. Me wanting Roan to do lewd things to me while wearing that armor isn't a bad thing. It's not a thought crime to have horny fantasies, but something we can all enjoy so long as boundaries are respected.

Lust after people so long as you don't make them uncomfortable. Hell, there are often ways to convey appreciation when people intentionally show off. In more formal environments, you can praise the effort they put in, while in very horny environments, people will enjoy you exaggerating your fantasies.

but imagining that scenario right now does a lot for me 😳

Emo girl shitpost comic by GRS (Punk Rock Loser)

I know about those models, which is why I'm bringing this up. Communists just need to make more stuff!

It's like with misgendering trans people who do shitty things or are shitty people like Ava Tyson or Caitlin Jenner. They might be pieces of shit, but they're still women. You don't get an n word pass just because a Black person does something bad.

Frigging Brits and their inability to write proper English 🙄

Nya! (⁀ᗢ⁀)

Asexuals need their garlic bread?

My dog enjoying a delicious piece of chicken:

Me watching her eat my dinner:

Make it fun so your ND brain actually enjoys it. I voice trained by singing along to music while practicing individual elements of my voice. I did singing in a masc voice to improve my range, singing with feminine resonance at low pitches (took the longest), varying my pitch for emphasis instead of my volume, and trying to match female singers while pulling it all together.

I did eventually need to use Voice Tools to hear myself back, but by getting a grasp on everything through singing, that part was much easier. If I didn't make it fun, I wouldn't have gotten it done.

Once I felt confident enough, I switched to a fem voice full-time, as my brain needed to be trained to use that voice in social situations. Now I can't even get myself to do a male passing voice in front of other people. I tried after only a month full-time and just couldn't anymore 🥰