Susaga

joined 1 year ago
 

Not necessarily the best meals (or places), but the meals (or places) that best represent your culture.

 

"Wait! I can explain everything!"

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 0 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Is there an issue with these sites I'm not aware of?

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 1 points 6 months ago

I wasn't a good DM either. But then I learned. I threw encounters at the players I thought might be fun, and I missed the mark almost every single time. But my players had fun, so I don't see the problem in getting those encounters wrong. And every failure taught me so much more than every success.

If you fail, but you keep it fun and learn for the future, what have you lost? Only your pride.

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 1 points 6 months ago (3 children)

But some monsters are strong against certain builds and weak against others. Some monsters are stronger in certain environment and entirely nullified by others. Some monsters are stronger given certain allies and weaker when alone.

If you could devise a system to assign monster complexity based on every scenario you can imagine that monster being part of, then either that's an astonishingly small number of scenarios or an absurdly complex calculation to force on anyone.

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network -1 points 6 months ago (7 children)

I think it's mostly cowardice, personally. People don't want to risk putting their own choices into a game based entirely on choices, just in case they aren't as good. It's better to use someone else's decisions than risk your own pride.

Then you have ignorance. A lot of people don't know how to fill the gaps, and WotC has never bothered teaching them how. Any rules they did get are rules of thumb and aren't something to use without thought (like CR), so people complain for reason 1 again.

 

Saint Peter looks over the three men and sighs, gently shaking his head. "Look, we're doing some renovations in there at the moment, so we can't accept too many people at once. We can take one of you, so... Whoever had the most tragic death, you get to go in first. Sound good?"

The three men all agree, and get in order to tell their stories.

"I was out for my nightly jog around the neighbourhood when I heard yelling from a nearby window. I turned to look and, next thing I knew, I was struck by a falling fridge." Saint Peter nodded, a little perplexed, then turned to the next man in the line.

"I had just come home from work when I noticed the smell of sweat in the air and another man's clothes in the bedroom. I looked around and, out the window, I saw a man running away from the apartment. Then I just saw red. I picked up the fridge and threw it out the window at him. Turns out the strain on an angry heart wasn't the best for me, and I just collapsed." Peter nodded, a little concerned about if this man should even get in, but he had bigger things to deal with. Instead, he looked at the third man in the line.

"So... Imagine you're hiding naked in a fridge..."

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

In a single round of combat, a wizard can use a spell to rain fire and bring a max health fighter down to 1 hp.

In comparison, in a single round of combat, a fighter can swing their sword four times and bring a max health wizard down to 1 hp.

So they're both as good as each other in a hypothetical 1v1 combat scenario which is unlikely to ever come up during an actual game. Bravo. Can we stop having this argument? It's been 4 months since this exact meme was posted.

 

Thankfully, they're both decent enough people for them to wind up in heaven. Hand in hand, the pair walk up to Saint Peter, stood by the pearly gates, and ask him "is it possible for us to get married in heaven?"

Saint Peter thinks about it for a moment. "Wait here" he says before turning and walking into heaven.

An hour passes. Then two. Time keeps moving and the young couple have nothing but each other to entertain themselves. Eventually, the couple start talking more seriously, with one of them saying "I know I love you, but we're young and we have forever in front of us. I fully believe this will work, but if it doesn't... What then?"

Eventually, Saint Peter returns with a tired smile. "I just checked and, yes, you can get married in heaven."

"Thank you" says one of the pair. "But we have been talking and... Just in case, is it possible to get divorced in heaven?"

Saint Peter starts saying some very unsaintly words upon hearing this question, giving his podium a heavy thump. "You're kidding me! It took me most of a DAY to find a priest in heaven, and now you want me to find a LAWYER?!"

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Ironically for a post complaining about reading comprehension, but you misrepresented the original post you're talking about. Even have the classic "quotation marks around a thing that was never said" in the title.

First, and perhaps most obvious, this wasn't "everyone". This was one person, and they didn't get many upvotes. When I recommend a TTRPG, for example, I'm recommending Genesys (like someone else did).

Second, they weren't saying to homebrew old editions of D&D. They were saying you don't need to homebrew at all. At most, they said you could reflavour something in 4th edition. Their entire point was that you don't need to homebrew when you can just find a system that already has what you would have homebrewed in.

Third, they were suggesting this as an alternative to homebrewing specific material into D&D 5e. Pathfinder can provide the experience of "5e with time travel" that you wanted without any modifications. BitD is so different from 5e that it can't.

You are, however, correct that they did backtrack. I'll put this down to poorly explaining their argument to start with, as they downplayed the "5e but better" games in their first comment while that was really their entire point.

Personally, I like homebrewing. It's fun to tinker with the rules and materials. But there's also an argument to not repeat work someone else has already done.

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 1 points 7 months ago

Granted. Someone has spraypainted racist slogans onto your fence with glow-in-the-dark paint. They also used a pressure washer to draw dicks on your deck, and those dicks are the only parts that are actually clean.

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submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by Susaga@ttrpg.network to c/jokes@lemmy.world
 

The idea is that, when he goes out on the town and winds up drunk, his shoes can intelligently walk him home without him getting lost. The only problem was that the shoes were too smart, and wanted to see more of the world than just the road between the pub and his house. Every so often, he'd sober up and find himself on a beach or by a river or some such.

Unsatisfied, he decided to leave his shoes at home and just not drink as much. The shoes didn't like this either, and walked themselves into his car. They were able to start the engine and drive off, but they didn't have arms to steer with. They crashed horribly, and were destroyed in a resulting fire.

The man was distraught. Those shoes kept him safe at night, and they had personalities of their own. It felt like a very real loss to him. As he was grieving, he asked a priest for advice, only to be told that it wasn't as bad as it seemed. His shoes were good shoes, and they were surely going to heaven.

Because shoes have souls.

(Yes, I did steal this from Red Dwarf, but do you blame me?)

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Given how you say it's happening across 43 states, I should point out I'll be in Britain.

Also, you're just saying "lets do something" and not saying what you'll actually do. Your scale is spread thin and your talking points are empty cliches. In the end, you will do nothing.

Edit: Called it.

 

The officer brings Joe into the room and says "I'm afraid his face was heavily damaged in the attack. We've done our best using dental records, but we need you to help confirm his identity."

Joe takes a slow walk around the body and flips it over, spreading his butt cheeks a little. After giving it a look, he sighs and turns to the officer. "No, it's not him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Jim had two arseholes."

The officer blinks. He didn't expect to hear that, and is more than happy to have a second opinion ready. With that, he brings Frank into the room.

"Frank, do you think you could tell us if this is Jim or not?" says the officer.

Frank heads straight for Jim's buttcheeks, giving them a little spread before sighing, just as Joe did. "No, it's not him."

"You're certain?"

"Yeah, Jim had two arseholes."

The officer furrows his brow. "Two arseholes. I've never heard of something like that before. You've actually seen them?"

"Well, no, we haven't seen them. But every time we three went out, people would shout 'Hey, it's Jim with the two arseholes!'"

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 1 points 8 months ago

Sure, but I'm part of the minority that likes to remove the rest of the sheep first.

 

A man enters a shop he had never seen before, littered with strange oddities on every single shelf. On one shelf was a monkey's paw, and another housed a strange puzzle box. What caught the eye was a strangely beautiful statue of a rat, small enough to fit into a person's hand comfortably.

The man looked for a price label, but couldn't see one. Instead, he turned his head to the shop keeper, watching him closely. "How much for this?"

"Oh, only five dollars, sir! But it'll cost a thousand dollars for the full explanation, hehehe..."

The man decided to only pay the five dollars, and left.

As the man walked down the street with his new statue, he heard small scurrying sounds behind him. He turned and spotted a rat not too far behind, following him in nearly a straight line. The man started to quicken, and so did the rat. Before long, other rats joined in the chase, all following the man and his statue. More and more, almost as if every rat in the city was chasing after him.

He broke into a sprint to escape the swarm, but they chased him down in a fervor. Scared for his safety, the man lept onto a street lamp, climbing up and away. The rats began to pile onto each other, trying to get closer to him.

With no options left, the man threw the statue. It sailed a short distance before falling into the nearby river. The rats turned and pursued the statue, all of them leaving the man alone to dive into the water. The statue sank to the bottom, and all the rats drowned as they tried to swim deeper.

The man could only watch in shock and horror, holding onto the lamp so he wouldn't get swept away with the storm. Once on his own feet, he walked straight back to that very same shop.

The shop keep grinned seeing the man. "Ah, you want to hear the full story, I take it?"

"Nah, too expensive. Do you have any lawyer statues?"

 

Suddenly, he finds himself incredibly thirsty, and without any tea or water on his person. Since he's already slumming it, he heads to a nearby stream and starts cupping water into his mouth.

Immediately, a local farmer starts running up to him shouting "dinnae dram fae tha wa'er! Is full o' pish 'n' shite!"

The Englishman looks up at the farmer and says "I don't speak rural. If you must speak to me, please use the king's English."

The farmer blinks, then slowly and carefully says "I- I was jus' askin' if yer wan'ed a cup?"

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 1 points 9 months ago

Por que no los dos?

"But how were you able to make the casserole? Weren't you busy with the boss' plan?"
"Nah, let me go over the details of the plan and explain how I managed to fit casserole prep into my schedule."

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Social Anxiety Survival Horror. You're a guy at a friend's party trying to avoid conversations while putting in an appearance with your friend so they know you were here. You can deflect conversations with small talk you pick up by eavesdropping, but it won't work on drunk people, so you also need to run and hide. Your ex-partner eventually shows up and is hunting you down to have a frank conversation about your relationship, which is instant game over.

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submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by Susaga@ttrpg.network to c/jokes@lemmy.world
 

The procedure is surprisingly fast and is a rousing success, leaving the man's skin far smoother than it had been in years. He stops by a news stand to buy a newspaper when he suddenly decides to ask the vendor "hey, how old do you think I am?"

"Uh... I'm gonna say 40?"

"It's actually my 50th birthday, but that's good to hear!"

With a spring in his step, he heads into the butchers to pick up some sausages for the night's dinner. He decides to ask the butcher "hey, how old do you think I am?"

"Hmm... I'm gonna say... 36, maybe?"

"I'm actually 50, but that's great to hear!"

He's practically bouncing on his feet with joy at how well the operation went as he waits for the bus home. A little old woman walks up next to him and he immediately asks her "hey, how old do you think I am?"

The old woman pauses, squinting her eyes at him. "Well, my eyes aren't what they used to be, so I probably can't tell by your face, but I do have a trick that always works. Do you mind?"

The man allows the old woman to stick her hand down his trousers and have a good old rummage. He's stunned, but too intrigued to stop her. After several minutes of touching, she pulls her hand out and says "You're 50 years old exactly."

"Wha... That's amazing! How did you know?"

"I was behind you at the news stand."

 

...but the flag's a big plus

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submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by Susaga@ttrpg.network to c/legendofzelda@lemmy.world
 

The logician, somewhat baffled at the man's comment, decides to educate him in the basics of logic. "Well, it's simple reasoning. You take a fact and draw other facts from it, like... Do you own a lawnmower?"

"Uh, yeah? So?"

"Well then, logically, you must own a lawn, correct?"

"Well, yeah."

"If you have a lawn, then I must logically assume you have a house to go with it."

"Yeah, that's right!"

"And a house would be too big for one man, so am I right in assuming you have a wife? Kids, perhaps?"

"I do! Two kids, a third on the way!"

"Then logically, you must be straight. And it goes on like that, you see? Logic."

"That's incredible! I've gotta tell my buddies about this!"

The logician is again baffled that the man's friends don't know what logic is either, but thinks little of it as he watches the man leave.


That evening, the man approaches his friend and says "Hey, have you heard about this thing called logic?"

"What the hell is that?"

"Okay, so it goes like this: Do you own a lawnmower?"

"No?"

"That means you're gay."

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I get your point, but I will say the Captain America scene isn't completely out of the realm of possibility. Cap weighs the helicopter down for a few seconds, and grabs a support beam for the helipad as soon as he can. If Cap can keep a grip on both the beam and the helicopter, then the propellers will only lift him if either Cap or the support beams break.

Of course, whether he should have had that much effect on the helicopter for those first few seconds is another matter entirely and I'm not enough of a physicist to make that call.

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