GardenVarietyAnxiety

I think I need to rephrase the question. I'll post again in a few days.

The replies so far have generally been very polite, given the subject. I was nervous about that. Thanks everyone!

... Hear me out, okay?

Back in 2000 I took my first solo, out of state trip, to meet an online friend. When I got off the bus, she greeted me, and let me know that we had to go stop by her friends house on the way back.

She was Wiccan and needed some Spiritual guidance because the night before she saw a black portal open up in the corner of her room that was giving her really bad vibes.

It wasn't my thing, but I never discounted it. Maybe it was real, and if nothing else it's just how her mind is rationalizing things.

But I guess my question is: Does the Scientific Method rule out the possibility that a "real" portal appeared in her room?

Taking wave function probability into account and the absense of data from the room, is it fair to say that the scientific method doesn't rule out the black portal being real?

Looking for black and white answers if possible, but I'd also love to hear your reasoning~

Currently I'm using #, but it causes issues with certain applications.

Example:

#Top Folder
Games
Music
New Folder
Pics

Currently using mostly Windows, but trying to transition to Linux, so a solution that works for both would be perfect.

Thanks, Lemmy!

Weird prompt, I know. It's a reference to some misheard song lyrics.

I liked the results, though!

This information is purposefully condensed. It's my goal to get my ideas out in the most clear, concise way possible.

...I'm still working on it, lol. Think of it as a list of "Bullet Paragraphs."

That being said; Please try to take it at face value and let me know if it resonates with you.

Would love to hear from anyone who disagrees, too!

tl;dr

Ask Why. Often. If you need to, start with answers you know. Be willing to admit when you get it wrong, Be willing to learn from it. Work on staying rational when emotions rise, While also giving them the space they deserve.

Why is very helpful in relationships, too, Just be mindful of boundaries.

Why isn't a question, it's a path. It can be overgrown and hard to see sometimes, but as long as you remember to come back and check now and then, you'll always find it again. And whenever it feels like you've reached the end, there's probably a little more still ahead.

Sometimes, you'll come to an answer that feels right, and later find out you're wrong. If you're able to admit it, you'll still learn from it. Be willing to update your worldview, or maybe just your place in it.

If you don't know where where to start or what to ask, just start with going through the Why that you already know. Journaling is a huge help with this part, but just mentally working through it is great, too.

You might ask something like "Why do I get sad so quickly?" or "Why do I feel lonely?" Keep going until it feels like time to stop, or when you get stuck. Set it down for now, so you can come back later.

If you are able to rationalize and accept why things happened while accepting and feeling the emotional pain when it rises, you can work to heal wounds while staying more emotionally regulated.

The trick here is learning to give the pain the space it deserves, while leaving your rational mind in control to "sort the baggage." It may be difficult at first, but it comes with practice.

Why is amazing when aimed inward, but it can be just as helpful aimed outward: When those close to you are struggling, trying to really understand Why can be a great help to them and may strengthen the relationship as long as boundaries are respected.

This can be applied to many other mental health related situations, too, not just trauma.

This is my jam 😎

tl;dr: My partner refuses to meet agreed upon cleaning goals and it's causing significant relationship issues. She's never blamed her ADHD, but I know it's a factor.

Is my ask (that she clean one uncommonly cleaned "chunk' of the house each week) unreasonable? Or rather, is my reaction to her not clearing this (very low, in my opinion) bar unwarranted?

My partner and I are both women, both diagnosed with ADHD.

She doesn't work due to anxiety, so I have to support us financially 100%, but she agreed early in our relationship (long before either of us had been diagnosed) that she'd take care of the housekeeping. She does some, but our house has never felt "clean" or "tidy" to me.

I lost my job during covid, and was lucky enough to get on the unemployment train for a while which was a blessing because I was battling severe burnout.

As our savings neared depletion, the thought of re-entering the workforce was causing me massive depression, and when I was all but ready to just give up on everything, I asked her for help.

Just a part time job, or work from home, or anything to generate income to take the weight off my shoulders so I could try to develop some entry level coding skills and get a job I could be proud of.

She agreed, filled out a resume and browsed some job boards... and nothing came of it.

After a while, I asked her to at least sell a box of old Amiibos on ebay. Once again, she agreed and didn't follow through.

As the savings dried up, I was forced to get a shitty job that's (still) just barely paying the bills.

After a few weeks of working again, I brought up the cleaning thing in an argument. I mentioned how she agreed to but never helped out financially, so I quantified the cleaning and set a (very low) bar for her to cross. She told me it was reasonable and it would get done.

3 years later and she has yet to clear the bar and our relationship is only being held together by a few thin strands of codependency.

The bar: On top of her baseline (Dishes, laundry, kitchen, living room, bathroom, and meals 4 nights a week, typically frozen pizza or something else from the freezer section, give or take), I asked her to take on a "Project" once a week. Something in the house that's rarely cleaned, which roughly requires the effort it takes to clean and organize our small 2ft by 2ft pantry. So like an hour or so.

It's not happening.

She throws excuses at me left and right, but she's never blamed the ADHD. I've considered it though...

So what I'm coming here to ask... I know you don't know her specific case (we are both at mild to moderate ADHD), but does my request sound unreasonable? Should I try to be more understanding?

Very hyped for this one. It's a spiritual successor to the Suikoden series (PS1/PS2), of which the second game is my all time favorite RPG.

Anyone else?

::shakes fist::

(I'm currently using Firefox 124.01 on Ubuntu 22.04.03 LTS) (My formatting is also givinge problems... I want to eat my own eyeballs out right now...)

I'm very new to Linux, and trying to get PHP installed, but it won't render anything...

Following this guide (https://ubuntu.com/server/docs/programming-php), I started with:

sudo apt update
sudo apt install apache2

Test Page Success!

So I continue with:

sudo apt install php libapache2-mod-php
sudo apt install php-mysql
sudo apt install php-cgi

Then:

sudo systemctl restart apache2.service

I write the following in /var/www/html/index.php:

<?php

phpinfo();

Test Text1

?>

Test Text2

I see "Test Text2" and nothing else. I see my PHP tags and their contents upon source inspection.

Then I perform the following:

apt list --installed | grep php
sudo apt purge php
apt list --installed | grep php (0 Results)

And try again:

sudo apt install php libapache2-mod-php
sudo apt install php-mysql
sudo apt install php-cgi

sudo systemctl restart apache2.service

No luck... Any ideas what's going on?

A little additional info:

~$ which php
/usr/bin/php

~$ php -v
PHP 8.1.2-1ubuntu2.14 (cli) (built: Aug 18 2023 11:41:11) (NTS)
Copyright (c) The PHP Group
Zend Engine v4.1.2, Copyright (c) Zend Technologies
    with Zend OPcache v8.1.2-1ubuntu2.14, Copyright (c), by Zend Technologies

~$ apt list --installed | grep php

WARNING: apt does not have a stable CLI interface. Use with caution in scripts.

libapache2-mod-php8.1/jammy-updates,jammy-security,now 8.1.2-1ubuntu2.14 amd64 [installed,automatic]
libapache2-mod-php/jammy,jammy,now 2:8.1+92ubuntu1 all [installed]
php-common/jammy,jammy,now 2:92ubuntu1 all [installed,automatic]
php-mysql/jammy,jammy,now 2:8.1+92ubuntu1 all [installed]
php8.1-cli/jammy-updates,jammy-security,now 8.1.2-1ubuntu2.14 amd64 [installed,automatic]
php8.1-common/jammy-updates,jammy-security,now 8.1.2-1ubuntu2.14 amd64 [installed,automatic]
php8.1-mysql/jammy-updates,jammy-security,now 8.1.2-1ubuntu2.14 amd64 [installed,automatic]
php8.1-opcache/jammy-updates,jammy-security,now 8.1.2-1ubuntu2.14 amd64 [installed,automatic]
php8.1-readline/jammy-updates,jammy-security,now 8.1.2-1ubuntu2.14 amd64 [installed,automatic]
php8.1/jammy-updates,jammy-updates,jammy-security,jammy-security,now 8.1.2-1ubuntu2.14 all [installed,automatic]
php/jammy,jammy,now 2:8.1+92ubuntu1 all [installed]

/etc/apache2/mods-enabled$ ls
access_compat.load  authz_core.load  deflate.load  mime.load         php8.1.load      status.load
alias.conf          authz_host.load  dir.conf      mpm_prefork.conf  reqtimeout.conf
alias.load          authz_user.load  dir.load      mpm_prefork.load  reqtimeout.load
auth_basic.load     autoindex.conf   env.load      negotiation.conf  setenvif.conf
authn_core.load     autoindex.load   filter.load   negotiation.load  setenvif.load
authn_file.load     deflate.conf     mime.conf     php8.1.conf       status.conf