this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2024
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Relationship Advice

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I don't have any issue talking to girls when the intent is not romantic/sexual. OK I have met someone, first few conversations went alright, how do I transition to something else without being embarrassed and feeling like a dick? Like, if I want to say something technical or communicate for something else, everything is fine. Otherwise, I feel very embarrassed and feel like I will be disgusting to her if I said something... I guess it is me trying to be OK with everyone and not have more people hate me... I don't know if I can take any more people hating me... makes me feel worthless...

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[–] BillDaCatt@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

Flirting is a cooperative effort. You can have great game and still fail if she isn't interested. You might also meet a girl that gives you a positive reaction, but you might miss it if you aren't looking at her that way. It takes two to make flirting work.

If you want to get to know girls; tell a few jokes or funny stories. If you think a girl might actually like you, tell her a dumb joke. If she laughs, she probably likes you. If she doesn't laugh, she's not interested yet. Keep trying and you will learn what works and what doesn't.

There are lots of women in this world so try talk to as many women as you can. Be persistent without being aggressive and you will do just fine. There is someone out there for everyone.

[–] Drusas@kbin.run 1 points 4 months ago

Working on your self-esteem first or alongside your dating efforts will be the most useful thing you can do. This is both in terms of your own personal well-being and in how attractive you will be as a potential partner.

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

Flirting is a compliment. Don't be ashamed of complimenting people, we could all use a little more of it

[–] Ballistic_86@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

You should just tell them you are not good at flirting and be more direct. It has worked very well for me. You can also work on getting a bit better by just doing so under the context that you are bad and it can be something funny between you and your match/potential partner.

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

Where people get into trouble is when they assume that because the other person is being nice to them, it means they're interested in something more. I know women who say they can hardly smile at a guy without being asked out on a date. But of course sometimes that are interested, and it can be hard to know without asking, which can be awkward for both.

If you think she might potentially be interested, you might consider inviting her to something casual, like getting a meal or seeing a movie. That in itself won't tell you she's interested, but if she's not interested in something casual, she likely isn't interested in more than what you have.

[–] Mechanismatic@lemmy.ml 1 points 4 months ago

Flirtation is a lot easier and more comfortable when you know the person already likes you. And it can seem creepy to them if they don't already like you. So it might be good to not flirt until you're confident it will be well received and in the meantime just be friendly and sincere. An important aspect of potential relationships is not appearing as if you think someone's only value is if they're a potential partner. People talk to and know other people, so treating everyone well can improve chances of potential partners thinking well of you. Sometimes the best thing you can do to find a partner is to work on yourself.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Always remember: If you say something to someone which "alarms or disturbs" them, you can be arrested for disorderly conduct.

Edit: Even if you do no such thing, all they have to do is lie.

[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 months ago

Great advice for someone already scared of talking to women... Why not give them an irrational fear of miscommunication as well huh

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You and me both, brother. But, I did somehow end up getting married twice and having a bunch of kids, so, there's hope for everyone!

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, one of the thousand pound sisters got married and had a kid.

[–] NoIWontPickAName@kbin.earth 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I don’t get it and googling their username didn’t help

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Why would you google their username and if you did why would you publicly admit to it?

[–] NoIWontPickAName@kbin.earth 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I don’t understand the thousand pound sister thing.

Usually stuff like that is a username pun

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I did somehow end up getting married twice and having a bunch of kids, so, there’s hope for everyone

one of the thousand pound sisters got married and had a kid.

[–] NoIWontPickAName@kbin.earth 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I get that part.

I don’t get why you called them a thousand pound sister

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I didn't call them that, it was agreeing with their point that anyone (the thousand pound sisters) can get married and have a kid.

[–] NoIWontPickAName@kbin.earth 1 points 4 months ago

Oh! I googled the wrong one. I get you now.