this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2024
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Blåhaj Lemmy is a Lemmy instance attached to blahaj.zone. This is a group for questions or discussions relevant to either instance.

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Neopronouns are not trolling (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/main@lemmy.blahaj.zone
 

I've been waiting until after Christmas day to make this post, but some of our communities recently have had a lot of noise and upset over someone that uses neopronouns that most people are unfamiliar with.

So I want to make this clear. A persons pronouns are to be respected. This is true when the user is using neopronouns that you're unfamiliar with. It's true even if you think someone is trolling. Pronouns are not rewards for good behaviour. They aren't only to be respected when you like the person you're interacting with, or if their pronouns "make sense" to you. Trolls, spammers, twitter users, it doesn't matter who they are, your options are to respect their pronouns, or to not engage with them.

I really want to re-iterate the importance of this. Gender diverse folk are undermined, invalidated and questioned at every step of our lives. As a community, we need to be working to undo that, not creating more of it, and that means there is no space for treating pronouns (including neopronouns) as a reward for good behaviour.

This isn't a free reign for trolls and spammers. The rules still apply. Trolling, spamming, etc will continue to be dealt with, but it's not an excuse to act as if respecting someones pronouns is optional.

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[–] will_steal_your_username@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 4 days ago (17 children)

For everyone confused about neopronouns I would like you to consider what we could and could not do about them.

We could:

  1. Not respect them and let people bully neopronoun users
  2. Respect them and not let people bully neopronoun users

Doesn't really matter if you want to use the pronouns or not, clearly respecting neopronouns is the only good way to deal with the situation unless you want to give people free reign to just talk down to, misgender, and harass a group of users.

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[–] Katzastrophe 19 points 4 days ago (10 children)

Lots of people in here who don't get pronouns or trans people, for those I recommend this article:

https://medium.com/@viridiangrail/so-you-found-out-youre-agender-because-you-don-t-understand-trans-people-886fdee6f178

There's a very real chance you guys might be agender cis, which is super fascinating because it's barely looked into, due to how agender cis people usually don't even know that their experience isn't universal.

[–] koper@feddit.nl 14 points 4 days ago (3 children)

I was interested until I saw the author and it clicked. Must be a broken clock situation.

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[–] DingDongDitch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 4 days ago

Without ever making a post on the Lemmy, I have donated to this instance every month for well over a year, amounting to hundreds. Your principled moderation is why I am here. I will forever be grateful for the space you've given us

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Very good post, I agree with everything said.

However I have a followup issue, I use Voyager primarily for Lemmy. I don't have any way to see bios (to my knowledge) in the app, so therefore I cannot see pronouns unless they are in someone's username. I have one of the "user tags" set up for drag specifically and will for any other neopronouns needed, but that requires someone correcting me before I can create it.
My question is, is there a way that this issue can be overcome? Id prefer to not move apps if it's possible as i like Voyagers UI but I will if I must.

Also, this is not really related, but do you happen to have a post or explanation you can link to about some drama between the shit-just-works instance and Blahaj? I heard that there was some drama but I can't figure out anything other than the NCD@SJW community mod having beef with blahaj, but not anything between the SJW instance itself.

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[–] Cassa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 5 days ago

As always Ada, eloquently put ♥️♥️ thank you!

[–] koper@feddit.nl 13 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Very true. I do hope that the one or two trolls who instigated this post stop getting free rein to start drama. Pronouns should be respected, narcissism should not.

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[–] nimble@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 days ago
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