this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2024
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[–] Damage@feddit.it 106 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (9 children)

As a former travelling worker, I ate a significant portion of my meals alone at a restaurant, never thought it could be perceived as weird before these memes started floating around reddit

[–] Graphy@lemmy.world 61 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I usually just chalk those memes up to teenagers who overthink everything or socially immature people. I often decompress at lunch by leaving the office and grabbing a meal alone somewhere.

I’m kinda reminded of that Kurzgesagt video on loneliness. The video talked about how people who experience loneliness begin to pay more attention to other’s expressions but interpret them incorrectly as negative.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I never heard anything about it as a teenager but both get to hear people's opinions and have them try to force themselves into joining me 'so I won't be alone' as an adult.

Definitely extroverts projecting.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I have seen people express how weird they find people wanting to eat alone occasionally throughout my life, and even had some volunteer to eat with me "so I wouldn't be alone". When I say that I wanted to eat alone, they expressed genuine concern that it is weird to not want company. If I let them sit and talk then they feel good about themselves and leave me alone for a bit.

Honestly the pressure I got from being pestered about eating alone ended with me just eating lunch at my desk and I absolutely love work from home. Going out with coworkers once a month was plenty. They are fun and all, but most times I just want eating to be when I take a break from other people.

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[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I still do and prefer it. I also go to bars by myself on and off. A buddy of mine would decline going to lunch with anyone else so he could go decompress. About once a week he'd come back bitching because someone would go into an empty restaurant and sit as close to him as possible.

My favorite story of his complaining (rightfully so in my opinion) is where he went to a restaurant with benches around the perimeter and sat in the corner far from the only other customer there. He hadn't been there two minutes before some woman came and sat on the bench seat closest to him and started asking him about the book he was reading and generally making small talk. He got so pissed that he ate in his truck for weeks instead of sitting down in a restaurant.

I think she was badly trying to flirt and didn't have the situational awareness to understand that he was trying to get away. He thinks she didn't want to look like she was eating alone and didn't care that she was intruding on a stranger.

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[–] Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world 42 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Advice I've given my wife and my kids. Never make plans with anyone to do anything that you aren't happy to do alone.

Dinner? I'll eat alone

Movie? I'll watch it alone

Wife isn't in the mood? I'll just lay in bed and beat it next to her.

Hiking trip? Alone in nature is great.

Worst case scenario you still get to go have fun. Middle case, next time that person asks about doing something you get to remind them about all the fun you had without them.

[–] BluesF@lemmy.world 38 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

One of these things is not like the others

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 32 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, hiking is the only one done out in nature.

[–] pingveno@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] DogWater@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] coaxil@lemm.ee 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Is the secluded bit a requirement????

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[–] Pandemanium@lemm.ee 25 points 3 weeks ago

I don't go places with people for social validation. I do it because doing those things by myself is incredibly boring.

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

One of my first jobs was at a movie theater, back when you had to physically splice film reels together. Doing so meant you had to watch the whole thing for quality assurance…so I saw every new film at 0300 in an empty theater and it was fantastic. Going to a movie with other people around feels weird and cramped

[–] sirico@feddit.uk 5 points 2 weeks ago

How I saw all the lotr films

[–] DogWater@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The sentiment in question is a response to someone else being weirded out and posting it online.... No one is seeking validation lol they're asserting that it's normal.

People who act creepy and take videos or pictures of someone out doing something alone and posting it online are the weird ones.

This context should be obvious

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[–] Sprokes@lemmy.ml 13 points 3 weeks ago

I used to go to restaurants alone and I the last time I did it the waitress/owner started asking what I do and gave me the impression that she felt sorry for me.

Now it has been a while that I didn't go. It wasn't because of her but it I feel like it.

[–] Get_Off_My_WLAN@fedia.io 13 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Come to Japan. Here, they have all sorts of seating at places specifically for people to be alone.

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[–] Spaceinv8er@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

It's not that I can't do these things alone. It's that I'd rather have someone there with me.

[–] frayedpickles@lemmy.cafe 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Very clearly not the point op is making at all

Like, the point they're making and your comment are completely unrelated

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 10 points 3 weeks ago

As OP, I am blown away at how many commenters are missing the point.

[–] tja@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I would go even further. I enjoy things much more, when I can share the experience with others. I could go out alone, yes, but why should I?

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[–] Doom@ttrpg.network 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Disagree on all of this y'all sound mad tone deaf.

Some people had bad parents, some had none, some hit the age of 21 with no actual adult to learn from.

People need information and affirmation and support. Stop being the judgey fucks you're preaching don't exist out there. If nobody is that judgemental then let them ask on the safety and confidential internet you fuckin goblins

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[–] 2pt_perversion@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago

Unless I'm traveling for work I don't really want to go to the movies or restaurants alone. Living room and takeout is better.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (11 children)

I go to restaurants alone when I'm out and about by myself, because a man's gotta eat. But why would I choose to go to a movie theater by myself? I can just stay home and watch a movie for free, while being more comfortable. I go to the movies specifically for the event which is shared with the person/people I go with. Do some people go to the movies just to see the movie? Is the bigger screen that important?

[–] Draghetta@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago

On the opposite, I don’t really get movie theatre as a social activity.

Watching a movie is a passive, solitary activity that you do in the same place and time as other people. It feels to me like it has the same social significance as meeting and then everyone checking their phone for two hours. Sure there is a shared experience at the end of it, but there are a thousand things you could do instead in order to experience things together, most of which more interactive and more “social”.

For me the only benefit of going with a friend is pushing each other to actually go and see the movie. But for myself, I have watched movies alone and didn’t find it significantly better or worse than going with company.

[–] IronKrill@lemmy.ca 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

For those of us without 100" 4K HDR TVs and perfect speaker setups, yes it is worth it. Not for every movie but there are movies I am very glad to have gone to the theater for because watching it at home on a 24 inch monitor and headphones is far less immersive and exciting an experience. Yes, even with popcorn crunching.

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[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Is the bigger screen that important?

Depends on the movie. If it's some drama or something a normal sized screen isn't much different experience but like a huge action movie with large scale stuff happening the bigger screen adds to the experience. I went and saw Godzilla Minus One in the theater and it was amazing. Maybe if I had a nice home theater set up it would be different but if I'm not watching a movie at the theater it's usually on my PC monitor at home or my small TV.

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[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Sometimes the people I enjoy movies didn't want to see the same movies, so I have gone alone to see something on the big screen. Not often since large flatscreens made most movies more enjoyable at home, but I would go slone if the situation came up again.

Honestly being alone or with people isn't that much different when I'm watchijg a movie, unless they are distracting. The only thing I get out of going with others is talking about the movie sfter.

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[–] Maxxie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 2 weeks ago

I think people are sleeping on the power of "The Shrug"™️

Whenever someone is asking why are you not following the societal norm, just 🤷 Don't explain yourself, let them try to rationalize to you why the norm is good actually. Then you can finish them with "Okay?" followed by another shrug.

Works every time.

[–] FinishingDutch@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

I always see movies alone. Preferably early in the day in a deserted theatre if possible. Movies are very much a ‘me time’ activity. I go at least twice a week with my unlimited movie pass.

It’s just not needed to drag someone else along, especially if they aren’t as interested in the movie to begin with.

[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 8 points 2 weeks ago

I don't go to the movies at all, fuck that industry - and I say that as someone who met his wife working at a movie theater. But restaurants, I eat solo all the time. There are dozens of us!

[–] ArcticPrincess@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

She said on the internet, asking others to normalize it rather than just doing it herself without seeking validation.

[–] TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 7 points 3 weeks ago

i upvote therefore i validate

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[–] bradd@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

It's strange to me that this would be news to anyone. That said, as someone who has had so many wild experiences all alone, I eventually had the epiphany that none of it matters if you have noone to share it with.

[–] Naz@sh.itjust.works 17 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

At the end of the universe, there is a café with the last known entities that persist. They exchange stories, favorite experiences and say their goodbyes to one another, ancient and forgotten.

There's a dreaded moment when straws are drawn or a volunteer is called to be the last one to turn off the lights -- to herald the calling of the next universe.

No one wants to do it however, because the last one has to do it alone.

It's in that quiet abyss, in the consuming darkness, the expanse and contracted void of dead light, where stars no longer shine, where trillions of lives existed and were extinguished -- that an epiphany can be had, as one celestial appendage holds over the reset toggle:

Everything matters. Even if no one is around to experience it.

-- Click --

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[–] mombutt_long_and_low@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The only thing you’ll regret about going to a movie solo is not doing it sooner. It’s liberating.

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[–] callouscomic@lemm.ee 5 points 3 weeks ago

It is normal. Just do it. People who have an issue with this are creating their own problems. It's a YOU problem.

[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 weeks ago

Going to restaurants alone is one of my favourite things. All the same food and drink, but you can just enjoy it quietly and not have to keep up with conversation.

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